The Hunger Games: The Mockingjay Rises
by VAMPIREACADEMYxlovexTWILIGHT
Summary: Book#3. After being rescued from the Quarter Quell, Journey, Gale, and the 2 other Victors are now in the once thought destroyed District 13. Peeta Mellark and Johanna Mason have been taken by the Capitol. Journey now has to make the decision to be the face of the rebellion. The Mockingjay. But what secrets will be revealed as the rebellion spreads through out Panem?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I was still laying on this stiff hospital bed. The beeping of the heart monitors were finally gone, and the silence gave me the reassurance I needed. Gale has come to see me a few times since we were brought here. He has been training and doing work with a few of District 13 soldiers… from what he's told me. My mom and Flex have yet to see me because the nurses think that I'm still mentally unstable to have a lot of visitors. But my family was the thing I needed to help me mentally right now.

I still have the nightmares.. That will never go away no matter how many drugs they give me. But since the nightmares have become more...vivid since the Quarter Quell, I have been refusing to go to sleep. But the nurses always seem to use some kind of drug to make me sleep, whether it be a powder in my drink and food, or a syringe. They make sure I have my "rest".

"How long until she's able to see her family?" My head perked up at Gale's voice coming from the other room.

"Not until she gets better.." a nurse said.

"She won't get better until she sees her family!"

I can tell just by his rising voice he was getting as irritated as I was with these nurses. I slowly got up and headed for the door. Not wanting to hear the same thing I've been hearing for the past couple days. As I walked out the door, I check to see if there were any nurses around and thank God there was none. So, I started walking down the dimly lit hallway. As I was walking, I came across a room that belong to a man with curly blond hair.

Finnick.

He looked as bad as I did. Circles under the eyes, red watery eyes from crying and some weightloss. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, with IV's in his arm and he was squeezing something in his hand.

"Finnick?" I said in a whisper. Not wanting the nurses to hear me.

"Journey? Is that you?" His voice sounded..broken. He never took his eyes off the ground. Not for a second, as if he were in a trance.

"Y-yeah.. It's me.." I said. I don't know what else I could've said.

"I-I'm sorry about Peeta...and your District."

"It doesn't matter." I didn't mean to sound rude, but Peeta and my District was still a soft spot to me. "It doesn't change anything."

"They have Annie too. They took her away from me. Sh-she's in the Capitol." He looked up at me. His eyes filled with tears, but his face showed no emotion. Nothing. Just blank.

" I wish she was dead. I wish they were all dead and we were too…" He then looked back to the ground and I knew he was done talking.

 _I wish they were all dead and we were too.._

"Ms. Lavender. What are you doing in here?"

I turned around to see a nurse standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a scolding stare.

"I-I just wanted to talk to a friend...since you're restricting me from seeing my family…"

"Yes, well about that.. Mr. Hawthorne talked to us and we have agreed to let you see your family."

"R-really?"

"Yes. They are in your room now."

That was all I needed to hear, before I was practically running back to my room. When I got there and opened the door, I saw Gale with a smile on his face, my mom and Flex.

"Momma?" The hot tears started to spill from my eyes. It was hard to believe that they were real. That they were right in front of me. I ran right to my mom and hugged her. As I did, I came to realize that I'm now the same hight as my mom.

"God, I missed you so much my baby! Well.. not really a baby anymore. I wish you could stop growing!" I laughed as she practically read my mind.

"I missed you too mom." I breathed out. I than felt a body collide with my lower body, and found it to be Flex who had grown from my lower hip, to now my waist.

"Oh my God Flex! You stop growing!" I said as I was still in shock of how much he's grown.

"No can do, JJ!" He said. He also pronouncing words much better than he use to. He had me in a tight hug on my waist and I can't even pick him up now! I looked to my mom in an astonished look. She just smiled.

"He went through a growth spurt when you left. His father also had a growth spurt around his age. He's going to be tall just like his father." She said as she place her hand on the top of his head. As I looked at him, I could see that his missing tooth has grown in and his dark hair has gotten even curlier than before.

"Well.. pretty soon you won't be my little brother anymore. You'll be my..tall little brother."

"Yeah hopefully" he said rolling his eyes. I laughed at his goofiness that I missed so much. I than realized that he was wearing my jacket that I gave him when I left. He saw that I was looking at it, so he took it off and handed it to me.

"Here. I kept it safe and warm for you." I took the black leather in my hands and I felt like I was back home again.

When I put it on, I immediately safer. Calmer. More relaxed.

"Thank you Flex." I said as I gave him another hug.

"I'm sorry to say Ms. Lavender but they have to leave so you can get some rest." My smile immediately left and I looked to the nurse.

"Hm..okay. Just.. give me a minute okay."

"Okay Ms. Lavender."

I turned to my mom who was still smiling. She came over and hugged me for the second time. She than looked at me and moved a piece of hair out of my face.

"I am so proud of you. You have become a strong, beautiful woman and don't forget that sweetheart."

"Thank you mom.." I said.

"And as for Gale.. listen to me carefully young man. If you do anything to hurt my daughter just know that there will be no soldier or general in this place that will keep me from making your life a living hell. Understood?"

My eye went wide and my cheeks were most probably a tint of red. I have never heard her be so.. Forceful.

"Yes ma'am. I do understand."

"Good." As soon as she walked out I gave Flex a goodbye hug and then he left and followed mom.

Gale was still in the room and I could tell that he was a little intimidated by what y mom said just by his stiffness.

"Did she scare you?" I asked with a smirk on my face.

"Well I'm not gonna lie.. She did scare me a bit." I than laughed at his face. He was tall man and was scared by my 5'4 mother. It was pretty cool on mom's part.

I came over and hugged him. Something I've missed since I've been in here. His warm arms wrapped around me was something I needed right now.

"Can you stay with me?" I whispered in his chest.

"Of course." As he said that, a smile of satisfaction and happiness crept onto my face. He than carried me to the bed and he proceeded to lay beside me with my head on his chest and my hand in his.

"Do you...still have nightmares?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Sometimes. They became so.."

"Vivid?" I knew that's what he was going to say because that's how they have become for me. Vivide. Where I can feel the warm blood on my body, the stab wounds, and the water rushing down my throat. All of it.

"Yeah… Haymitch was right. No one ever wins the games."

"I don't want to talk about Haymitch." Ever since I found out that Haymitch lied to me, I lost any and every respect for him."

"How long are you going to stay mad at him? He did what he did to save you-"

"I don't want to talk about Haymitch." I said with more force.

"Fine. Look..President Coin wants to speak with you tomorrow morning. Prim is going to come and prepare you.."

"Prim? How is she?" I haven't seen Prim or Katniss either.

"She's good. She's practicing to become a nurse. And Katniss has finally taken my advice into going into training with me."

"That's good." I said with a smile. I really didn't expect anything less of them. They have always been polar opposites, which was why I was friends with them.

"Yeah.. now go to sleep. You'll need the rest."

"Okay.." As soon as he said that I came to realize that I, for once, am tired. So I closed my eyes and welcome the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

That morning I woke up alone in bed. Gale had to leave because he had some..orders to attend to. But I did wake up to a face that I missed for months on end.

Prim.

We had our little best friend moment. Hugs were given and tears were shed. Prim was also looking more.. grown up than the last time I saw her. She was wearing a nurse gown and her blond hair that would either be in 2 braids was now in a tight bun. Her face less round and more..structured.

"So I heard that you are training to be a nurse. That's really amazing Prim." I said with a smile on my face.

"Thank you JJ." She than handed me a grey jumpsuit.

"So is this what everyone is suppose to wear?" I asked with a scrunched face. I don't really care whether or not we wear jumpsuits, but these were a scratchy material.

"Yes. It's mandatory."

"Hm..okay fine."

When I put the jumpsuit on, I was already itchy but I was trying my best to not scratch at my skin.

"I know it gets itchy, but it could be worse." That was Prim. Always trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah.. I guess it could."

"Do you want me to braid your hair?" I have never let Prim braid my hair before, because I was always the one who did it.

"Y-yeah. Sure."

I sat on the bed, and Prim behind me, started a french braid. It was strange switching rolls. Me being the one on the bed getting my hair braided and Prim being the one to braid it.

"It's strange. How grown up you are. I remember when you were the one sitting on the bed letting me do your hair. You could never do french braid. How did you learn?"

"Well.. being here, you have to start learning how to do things on your own."

"Oh.." was all I could say. Now I started to feel guilty. That because of me, people's lives are being changed. For better or worse I don't know. If it wasn't for me Prim and Katniss and my family would still be in District 12. If it wasn't for me, District 12 would still exist.

"Ms. Lavender, I'm Colonel Boggs, and I am to escort you to President Coin." I turned to see a man wearing a black jumpsuit. He was tall and built with fairly dark skin. His stare was hard, but… kind. In a way.

"Thank you." I said. I turned to Prim and hugged her goodbye as I started walking a long side Boggs. He made me look smaller than I was, that's how tall he was. We walked in silence but when we got to the elevators, I noticed the District 13 was much bigger than I expected.

"All my life… people told me that there was nothing left of District 13. That it was nothing but rubble and ash."

"That was the point. But we are military, so we learned and adapted to surviving down here. We were preparing and training. We were..waiting for this day."

He said looking at me.

When we stopped, we stopped at what looked to be a meeting room. A large table surrounded by chairs and behind them were screens. But my eye caught someone.

Beetee.

He was sitting in a wheelchair, and from what Gale has told me, it was because he is now paralyzed from the waist down. From the knife that stabbed him in the back, it hit his spine.

"Beetee?"

"Hello Journey."

"AH! Ms. Lavender the Girl on Fire!" i turned to see Plutarch and a woman with long straight grey hair who I'm guessing is President Coin.

"Madam President, may I present to you, the mockingjay."

She came up to me and shook my hand.

"What an honor to meet you Ms. Lavender. You are a very, very brave young woman. I can't imagine what you've been through, but I hope you feel comfortable here with us." She gives me a reassuring smile and I nod.

"Thank you."

"This, right here at this table, this is history happening." Plutarch said.

"Please have a seat. We would like to discuss a few things with you. First off… in the arena. When you shot the arrow at the forcefield, You electrified the nation. Since then, there have been riots, and protests in 7 Districts. If we keep this energy going, we can unite the Districts and turn them against the Capitol."

"How can you know for sure that will work?" I asked. There is no way that all those Districts can do that. Even if they could, how can they stand against snow?

"We just need the perfect message. The perfect symbol."

"Journey, we need to show them the Mockingjay is alive. Many people think you died in that arena. If they see that you are alive, that you are willing to fight with the Districts, they will rise together." Plutarch said.

This was all weighing in on me. They wanted me, to practically gather an army and start a war against the Capitol. A 16 year old girl.

"I-I can't.. I'm just a 16 year old girl, I can't gather an army.."

"You are more than just a 16 year old girl. You are a symbol of hope for the people. All we are asking you to do, is shoot a few series of propaganda. You know clips and such. All the people have to do is see you. Give them that spark that they need."

I put my head in my hands and took deep breaths. My mind was on two sides. The side that wants to do this and the side that says how crazy and ridiculous this is.

"Look, you don't have to decide right now. We will give you 24 hours to think about it. But that is all the time we are giving you."

I listened to Coin's words as I let it sink in.

"Okay. Thank you, I will give you my… decision tomorrow." I said quickly as I rushed out of the room not wanting to hear anymore.

While Journey left, Coin and Plutarch were left to talk.

"Maybe we should use Gale Hawthorne instead of her."

"No.. No, trust me. No one else can do this but her."

"Well I'm finding that very hard to believe from what I've just witnessed."

"Look she's still going through some withdraw from the games and finding out her home has just been destroyed doesn't help."

"Which is all the more reason to use someone else. She can't handle it. The games destroyed her, and putting her in the middle of a war is not going to help."

"No.. but maybe if she saw District 12. To see what Snow did to her home. Maybe that will bring back the fire she once had."

"No. That could make things worse.."

"This is our only choice Madam Coin. But I'm telling you. That anger will drive her into joining the revolution."

President Coin was left in her thought for a few moments. Deciding what to do.

"Alright. Show her District 12… And for the other issue…"

"Beetee has already gotten started on it. And once we are in the Capitol, we will find it. And once we do.. The Districts will most definitely rebel."

"Excellent.." With that, Coin left.

"Ms. Lavender.."

"Yes Boggs?"

"You have clearance to go and visit the site of District 12."

My breath caught in my throat. My heartbeat speed up. Going back to the rubble left of my home. Something in me wanted to say no. Fearing for what I would see, but.. I wanted to see. I wanted to if there was anything left of home.

"Ms. Lavender.. you don't have to. It's not an order."

I shook my head.

"No. I'll.. I'll go."

"You're positive?" Boggs asked looking at me.

I nod. I knew that I was going to regret this, but I didn't care at this moment. This might be my only chance to come back.

"Okay. Let's go." Boggs then escorted me to the higher grounds. It was wear the hovercrafts and the machinery were held, well as Boggs said.

When we got to a hovercraft I was met with Katniss and Gale.

"Katniss!?" I ran to her and hugged her. Her brown hair was in loose curls instead of her regular fish tail braid to the side.

"Hey Journey. God I can't believe you're going through with this.."

"Neither can I, but this is something I have to do… How-how are you..handling…?"

I didn't want to say his name out loud. Fearing of what it would do to Katniss.

"I-...It's been.. Hard." Was all she said. I didn't want to push on the subject any further, because by the look in her eyes, I knew that she was about to crack any moment.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Gale asked behind me.

"I need to see it for myself. Too long, I've been telling myself it didn't happen.."

"Okay.."

Me, Katniss, and Gale boarded the hovercraft and took seats next to each other. Then we were lifted off the ground, and out to the open area. And pretty soon, we were off to District 12. I kept my eyes closed the entire time. The hovercraft reminded me of the one I would take on the way to the arenas back in the games. I didn't feel too safe in hovercrafts. Especially because I was afraid of heights.

It felt like hours to me, but in just a few minutes, we were being lowered down to District 12. I slowly got up and two sets of eyes were on me.

"13 swept top to bottom so you will be safe." Gale said.

I only nodded as I looked to the ground. Already seeing rubble. I then tried to swallow the big lump in my throat.. Why am I doing this?

"Journey, do you want us to go with you?" Katniss said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head no.

"No. I need to do this on my own.." and with that, I left the hovercraft and set my feet to the ground.

"And Journey! If it makes you feel any better, we will be watching you from above. So you'll be safe." Gale said.

I nodded as I then started to walk, and the hovercraft soon left and was hovering over me. Watching my every move.

When I looked around for the first time.. It look like nothing more than a dream. All around me were buildings half destroyed, concrete broken and piled high. Smoke was everywhere. With every step I took I could hear the crunching of broken rock. Ash just flying everywhere. It was so hard to recognize with all the smoke and such, but I knew that where I was standing, was once my town square. This was where it all began.. And now it's just.. Nothing.

The more I saw, the harder it was for me to keep going. The memories of what it use to look like was practically a faded memory from what it looks like now. Some places were still burning.

As I kept walking, I heard an unfamiliar crunching noise at the bottom of my feet. I looked down to see that I stepped on a skeletal head. But not just any skeletal head, it was too small to be an adult, and I realized that it was the remains of a baby. I quickly put my hands over my mouth to stop myself from screaming. But I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face. My hands started to shake as I realized that there was a trail of bones and I reluctantly followed it, my knees starting to shake.

When I finally got to where the bones lead me, right than and there, I wished I hadn't have agreed to come.

In front of me, was hundreds upon hundreds of dead bodies. They were either burned, crushed, or just scattered bones. But all I saw were the the people that I grew up around. The people I called my family, dead. Nothing but the smell.. the smell of rotting flesh was like a hit in the face.

Something in me snapped.

" **NOOOOOOOOO! YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD!** **AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

My knees gave in as I fell to the ground. It felt like the pain in my chest was traveling through my body. Everything was weighing in on me.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whispered to the sky. I just kept crying and screaming until me lungs hurt.

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't react to it, as I knew it could only be one person.

Gale.

He picked me up and carried me bridal style back to the hovercraft. As I looked to the hovercraft, I could see Katniss with her hand over her mouth in shock and sadness as she looked at me. She has never seen me in my worst moments and I never wanted her or anybody else to see. But I really didn't want pity.

"Shhh.. it's okay. It's over. You don't have to go back. It's okay shhh.. shh.." Gale said in my ear.

I didn't want to speak. I just wanted to go back to 13. I just wanted all of this to be over.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

At the Capitol, President Snow was preparing a speech for the Districts. But as he was reading them over, he felt that something wasn't right about the speech.

"Egeria!"

He called out. His right hand man.. or should he say woman was making her way to his office in haste as he does not like people who lag.

"Yes President Snow?"

"Fix these lines. I refuse to say rebels. It will legitimize them."

"We'll call them..criminals."

"No."

"You can undermine their credibility by calling them.. Radicals."

"Better. Much better. And Egeria.?"

"Yes President Snow?"

"I am giving all the files to you. I want you to keep this a secret from the general."

"For how long sir?"

"For as long as we know we can trust him. Knowing this, will cause drastic change from everything we've ever known. If he finds out before he is ready, we can lose everything. Do you understand Egeria?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. Now leave."

And leave she did, with the files in hand.

Back at District 13, everyone was having dinner.

I was sitting with Gale and Katniss. They were eating some kind of.. mash stew, while I was too deep in thought. Deciding on what I should choose tomorrow. Being the mockingjay or not.

"You should eat something." Gale said beside me.

I shook my head no. I wasn't hungry and this food didn't want to change my mind as it doesn't look appetizing. Katniss on the other side of me saw that I wasn't eating as well.

"He's right Journey. You need to eat something. You can't starve yourself." I knew that they weren't going to let this go. They were too similar in that way. I took the spoon and scooped a small amount of mash stew and brought it to my mouth. It tasted like nothing. Is that even possible?

I then heard that all too familiar music. The Capitol announcement music. I looked up to the screen and so did everyone else.

On the screen was none other than Caesar Flickerman with his ridiculous purple hair and suit. But instead on the smiling, happy, excited Caesar, he looked more serious.

"Hello, Good evening to all of Panem. Now I want everyone to stop what they are doing because you are going to want to witness what's happening tonight. There has been rapid speculation of what really happened that night during the Quarter Quell. So here to spread a little light on to the situation is Journey Lavender's most trusted friend. Peeta Mellark."

WHAT!?

I stood up staring at the screen. It was him. Peeta. He was sitting there with his legs crossed wearing a white suit with a white rose. His golden hair slicked back. His face looked tired.I look to Katniss who looked broken as she stared up at him.

"You're alive.." I said. I wanted to be happy that he was alive, but his lack of health was showing and I was scared of what they were doing to him at the Capitol.

" _Peeta, a lot of people feel as though.. They are in the dark."_

 _"Y-yeah I know how they feel."_

 _"So Peeta, you know Journey Lavender. So please tell us what you think happened."_

 _"Well you have to understand that people in the games whether they win or not you lose something. Journey.. When she came back from the first games.. She wasn't herself. She was always on edge, the littlest surprise would scare her half to death. I love her like family. And I knew that when the lightning hit the forcefield and everything went dark-"_

 _"Yes but Peeta, Journey is the one who blew it out. She is the reason for what happened."_

 _"N-no she didn't know what she was doing. I know her and I know that look she gets when something affects her. She had that look that night. When she get's distraught she blacks out everything and doesn't think clearly. She didn't know what was happening."_

 _"Alright, well many find it to be suspicious, because it seems as though she was part of a rebel plan."_

 _"Plan.. do you think that it was part of the plan to get attacked by Enobaria? Or part of the plan to shoot an arrow to the sky and hope that everything goes down? No! She wasn't a part of a plan! She had no idea!"_

 _"Alright. Alright I believe you Peeta Mellark. Thank you. You know I was going to ask you about the rebellion. But I feel that you might be too upset."_

 _"No. No I think we should talk about it." He looked to the camera, but it looked like his eyes were staring at me. "I want everyone to think about what a civil war could mean. We almost went extinct once. Is this really what we want to do? To kill each other off? Killing is never the answer. Everyone needs to lay down their weapons.. I am calling for a ceasefire."_

The dinner room erupted in angry rants towards Peeta. I know Peeta, and Peeta would never say that. He hated the Capitol and the games as much as anyone else in the Districts.

"WHAT!?"

"TRAITOR!"

"HE'S A TRAITOR!"

"THIS IS TREASON! HE'S A TRAITOR!"

I looked back to see Katniss running out of the dinner hall. Right now, I knew to just leave her be. But I needed to get out of the room too. I couldn't listen to all the hate towards him. The hate that was so unnecessary.

When I left, I saw Katniss in my room. I walked in and she was sitting on my bed wiping away tears.

"You know.. a year ago.. if someone told me I would be crying over Peeta Mellark.. I would be laughing. But after seeing all the good in his heart for what he did for your family and mine.. I just fell head over heels in love with him."

"I know.. and he loved you for the longest."

"What do you mean?" She looked at me confused.

"He didn't tell you?"

"No.."

"He's had a crush on you ever since we were kids and you sang that song at the school talent show."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. It was kind of cute too. He would always blush or smile when he would talk about you."

Telling her that seemed to make her smile and calm down.

"You know, you mean a lot to him too Journey? He would tell me about all the fun things you and him use to do."

I smiled at the memories. I always liked to get dirty in mud and sometimes I would push him in. But it would stop being fun when his mother saw all the mud on him and would yell and hit him.

"Yeah well.. he is practically my brother." I said.

"Yeah.. look I should go and check on Prim. Are you going to be okay Journey?"

"Huh I should be asking you that Katnip." I said with a smirk. She just rolled her eyes and proceeded to the door.

"Yeah yeah J.J. See you later?"

"Yep." I said as she left me a lone in my room.

In my room, I looked at a photo that mom saved when they evacuated. It was a photo of me and Peeta when we were 9 and mom was in the picture with a 2 year old Flex in her arms. Me and Peeta's arms linked and were smiling. I wiped a tear that fell to my cheek. I then heard the door open behind me. I turned to see Gale.

He sat next to me on the bed.

"Why do you think Peeta said that?" I asked him.

"I don't know.. Maybe it was forced. I mean he didn't look good. Maybe he made some kind of deal to protect you."

"Yeah.. maybe."

"Hey.. Journey look at me."

I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to do anything.

"I promise you everything is going to be okay."

"That's a pretty big promise Gale.."

"It doesn't matter. A promise is a promise."

I shook my head. He was too perfect for me. I didn't deserve a guy like him. I looked up at him and I leaned forward. Our lips met in a heated kiss. Without thinking, my body just leaned back onto the bed and Gale was left on top of me but our lips never separated.

I was too occupied by the kissing, that I didn't notice Gale's hand touched my waist and was moving downward until I gasped. His rough hands felt really nice and my brain was in a haze of pleasure, that I didn't realize what was going on.

But somehow, I came back to my senses and stopped things before they got too...wild.

"Gale stop." I said quickly. He stopped kissing me and he looked ashamed as he got up. Us both breathing heavily.

"I- I'm sorry. It's just I.. I don't want to rush this..."

"No. No it's fine. I understand."

I looked up at him in question and disbelief.

"You do?"

"Yeah I do. You're not ready and I get that. I won't rush you into anything you're not ready for. I have to go. Boggs is probably wondering where I am." He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and was out the door. When he left, I sat in the quiet to regain my thoughts and came to a shocking realization.

I almost had sex with Gale tonight. The thought sent a mixture of emotions through me. Embarrassment, shock, happiness and..excitement? I mean I love Gale. Don't get me wrong, I really do love him. He makes me feel better about all the things I've been through. He makes me forget. But am I really ready for sex?

I shake the thought out of my head as I got out of my jumpsuit and into my Pj's and went to bed. Which I knew was stupid because without Gale here, I knew that the nightmares would be coming back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I woke up the next morning in a hot sweat. I didn't realize that I covered every part of my body in the heavy blanket in the night, nor did I realize that I was hot at all in the middle of the night. But all I did was throw the blanket off of me onto the floor as the air turned cold, making me shiver. I walked to the shower, that was basically the size of a closet cupboard, and then took off my sweat soaked t-shirt and pants.

I let the hot water tap my skin. Letting all the tension out of my muscles and bones as my shoulders slump. I almost feel over as my knees turned to jelly.

When I was done with my shower, I got ready in a new jumpsuit and brushed through my curls. When I was done I made my way down to the dining room where I saw a sleepy Gale and a very hyper Posy sitting next to him. I noticed that she grew too. Her brown hair was longer and she looked to have grown 2-3 inches. I also noticed that she was sitting next to Flex.

I walked over with a smile on my face as I saw her and Flex in deep conversation.

"Hey guys." I said as I sit down. Posy looked up at me as she was practically bouncing.

"J.J guess what!?"

"What?"

"Flex said yes to be my boyfriend!"

Gale's eyes went wide and looked as if he was about to spit out his coffee. Flex on the other hand looked aggravated.

"No I didn't Posy! You're such a liar." She punched his arm and scowled.

"No! You're the liar Flex Lavender!" I saw the red tint form on Flex's cheeks and knew for a fact he was indeed lying."

"You know Flex, it's not good to lie about your feelings for someone. Infact lying at all is not good." I said to my brother as his cheeks got redder, if that were even possible.

"So Journey have you figured out what you're going to say?" Gale asked trying to change the subject as it was very uncomfortable for him. Which also brought me back to my decision. Becoming the mockingjay.

"I did. And you will find out as soon as they do. I promise." I said to him.

When breakfast was over, I slowly made my way to the meeting room where a fidgety Plutarch was sitting next to a calm collective President Coin.

"Hello Journey. So I hope you have made your decision." Coin said looking up at me.

"Y-yes I have. And I have decided to become the Mockingjay-"

"Excellent!-"

"On a few conditions."

Plutarch happy face fell into what looked like a curious grin.

"I will become your mockingjay **if** … you rescue Peeta Mellark, Annie Cresta, and Johanna Mason at the earliest opportunity. And you will not have any charges against them and will be granted full immunity."

I said looking straight at Coin, not making myself seem cowardice. She looked up at me for a minute, then nodded.

"I don't think so." She finally said.

"Excuse me?"

"They committed treason. They went against us, you saw the announcement-"

"It's not their fault they were captured! They are saying what they are saying to survive. That's not treason."

"Yes it is. If they were really one of us, they would have kept their mouths closed instead of betraying us."

As she said this, my knuckles turned white as I bald my hands into fist. I then slammed them down on the metal desk making a loud echo noise around the room.

"Now you listen to me President Coin! It seems to me that you need me for this rebellion, and if I don't agree with this, you can kiss this revolution goodbye. Even though I find this unlikely, either you agree to my terms or else you will find yourself another mockingjay! If you can.."

"That's it! That, right there is what I was talking about! That's the fire. Now just picture it. The battle suit, the people cheering behind her, the battle scars. It's perfect!" Plutarch said. I looked at him with a questioned look. What?

Coin just stared at me for a second. Studying me. I can tell that she was thinking..deciding what to agree on.

" Alright.. Alright. Now.. do you have any other conditions?"

"Not that I can think of. At the moment at least.."

She then gives a nod for my dismissal and I left. It wasn't until I got outside that I let out a breath I had no idea I had. I relaxed my muscles letting the anger subside, and when I felt calm enough I walked out to my room and I laid on my back onto the bed. Thinking of the decision I just made.

I just agreed to become the Mockingjay. But I didn't to save Peeta. To save Johanna and Annie for Finnick. Than I remembered that I had to tell Gale what my decision.

I left my room to go and find him.

After a few minutes of searching, I found him in the armory room. As I walked in, he immediately looked to me.

"Hey." He said.

Hey.."

"Did you make your decision?"

"Yes I did.. And I agreed to be the mockingjay." I said with what little confidence I had. I heard him suck in a deep breath.

"What?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd choose the opposite."

I gave him a questioned look until it dawned on me.

"You don't think I can do this can you?"

"No of course I think you can, I just don't want you to be caught up in this-"

"This happened because of me Gale! Everything happening is because of me! I'm already caught up in this. Now, now I'm taking responsibility for them."

"I know, but I just don't think you should've done this without talking to me first!"

"Why are you mad that I didn't!? This is my decision to make!"

"We should be making these decisions together since I thought that we _were_ together!"

"WE ARE TOGETHER! You're mad at me because I didn't include you into the decision that deals with me and only me!?"

"NO! I'm at YOU because I LOVE YOU! And I don't want anything to happen to you!"

When he said that, it made me feel two emotions at once. Anger and love. 2 very different emotions that don't mix well.

"Well maybe that's the problem Gale. Maybe you need to start having more faith in me if this relationship is going to work."

With that said, I walked out of the room and went someplace quiet. And it's strange how that someplace was Finnick's room.

When I walked in, he was laying down on his bed, with a picture in his hand. I came over and laid down next to me. When I looked at the picture, I recognized it to be Annie with her firey red hair that stood out from her pale freckled skin and piercing blue eyes that showed nothing but kindness.

"Hey Finnick."

"Hey Journey."

Was all was said and I was glad. Talking was not a good idea for both of us right now so we just laid down looking at the grey ceiling listening to the sounds of our breathing. While we just laid here I came to realize that I liked this Finnick better. The one who's quiet and more serious at the right time.

"So.."

Oh crap! Why Finnick? Why!?

"How are you and Gale?"

"Finnick.. Don't."

"Come on it's just a question-"

"It's an irrelevant question. And with that damned smile on your face I think you know how me and Gale are doing."

"You know sweetheart I'm going to be honest with you. When we were in the games, I started to care for you-"

I shot my head to the side to look at him with shock and question.

He turned to face me too and started laughing.

"Easy girl, don't bite my head off. Let me finish. I started to consider you my friend. Maybe.. For awhile I kind of started to have feelings for you, but-"

"FINNICK!" I screamed out. This was just too awkward and a little gross for my liking.

"SHUSH! Let me finish! BUT I saw you and Gale and I came to realize that you two were practically made for each other. Kind of like me and Annie… and I just want you to know that whatever Gale does that might anger you.. just know that he does it because he loves you."

I take a moment for my thoughts to process. Gale loves me.

"I know he loves me, and I love him, but I still have faith in him and his actions. He should have faith in me too."

"Than you don't know how a man works darling. When we… when we lose someone we love.. It changes us."

He looked to Annie's picture and I knew what he meant.

Then, there was a voice on the intercom.

" **Everyone report to the main hall. Everyone report to the main hall now for an announcement."**

Finnick and I both got up off the bed and walked to the main hall where everyone was gathered. And I never knew so many people actually lived down here. It was completely crowded and thankfully I wasn't clusterphobic.

President Coin came out onto the top platform where a microphone was set. She than started speaking.

"Good afternoon and thank you all for coming. Today, I interrupt your daily schedules to bring you some fantastic news. Our very special guest from District 12 Ms Journey Lavender has agreed to fight with as our Mockingjay and help unite the Districts against the Capital."

Everyone started clapping and cheering and some even looked my way as they did.

"But in exchange I have agreed to some.. Conditions made. First, we will extract the Capital captives at the earliest opportunity and when freed will be stripped of any charges. The captives are..Peeta Mellark, Johanna Mason, and Annie Cresta." The whole crowd started roaring with anger. Calling them traitors and such as they did the other night.

I turned to the side to see Finnick with hope in his eyes. He looked to me and smiled a true genuine smile.

"Thank you. Thank you Journey." He said and he held my hand. I didn't protest as I knew he was just relieved and happy for the news, so I smiled and nodded back.

"BUT! If Journey Lavender fails any of her duties.. The deal will be terminated. That is all, please continue with your daily work."

When everyone started to break off I was about to leave when Finnick embraced me with a hug. To say I was shocked was an understatement. Finnick hugging me? Never in a million years would I think that would happen.

"Thank you again." He whispered. I than came to my senses and hugged him back.

"You're welcome Finnick."

Even though I made one person happy, one thought came into my head. If I don't do any of the tasks that I have, they won't be saved and I won't be able to save Peeta, Annie, and Johanna.

When we broke out of our hug, Finnick went back to his room while I went back to mine. But Gale seemed to beat me to it as he was sitting on my bed.

"Look, I'm not going to say I'm sorry for the things I said because I'm not."

"I know." I said. I was done being mad at him. I couldn't be mad at him for wanting to protect me. I couldn't be mad at him for loving me, because I loved him too.

"But I do want to say that I love you. That I worry about you. I worry about you having to deal with all of this. How it's unfair that now that I have you, I have a chance of losing you again and this time for good."

My heart skipped maybe.. 4 beats at this moment. My stomach fluttered and my skin started to itch for that touch. His touch.

I walked over to him, and sat on his lap as my lips connected with his. His kiss felt like fire that set my whole body to flames and made me melt. I didn't want be anywhere but here right now. To be with him and him with me. My hands in his dark, soft, feather like hair and his hands tight around my waist.

I wanted him to stay.

"Ms. Lavender!" Our bodies stopped and we both started to breath heavily.

"Y-yes!?"

"It's dinner time Ms. Lavender."

Damnit. We both said. I left the warmth of Gale's lap and he got up off my bed as we both started to walk out. When the door opened, it revealed Boggs. When he saw Gale and most likely our swollen red lips, he tried to hide his shock and amusement.

"Um.. Thanks Boggs." I said as me and Gale left side by side to the dining hall.

When we found an empty table, well almost empty, there was a woman sitting there. She had pale skin, wearing what looked to be sunglasses and lipstick. I knew only one person who would wear those things in a place like this.

"Effie!?"

 **AN: HI HI HI people! I hope you're liking this so far and hope you stick around because I have some very exciting twists and turns to this story. Review, Like, Follow. Yall know what to do. ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Effie!?

The woman turned her head to the side to look at us. The top of her head was wrapped in a pink silk scarf with matching pink lipstick. Her dark sunglasses hiding her eyes.

When she looked us she gave out squeal that I've never heard from her before. She than got up and attack me in a hug.

"Oh my dear! It's so wonderful to see you two again!" She than reached to give Gale a sort of handshake.. well minus the shaking part. Gale also gave her a genuine smile as we all sat down.

"What are you doing here?"

Her face turned from happy, to a sour. Her nose wrinkled like she just smelled something rotten.

"I am now a political refuge darling. Plutarch rescued, if that's what you call it, me from the Capital. It seems that all three of us were in the dark. Now I'm damned to wearing eternal horrid jumpsuits." She reached for her metal cup fill water and as she took a drink, she groaned. She than slammed the cup unto the table and took off her glasses. I tried my best to not looked shocked at what I saw. Effie had dark circles under her eyes and I can even detect a few wrinkles. I guess all that makeup she wore was for a reason…

"This place is a disaster. I miss coffee! What kind of place doesn't have coffee? I mean-"

Me and Gale looked to each other with annoyance and smirked. Same old Effie, but just not in her.. natural environment. Which can be a pain in the ass for me.

"I miss my wigs. I miss my makeup. Most of all I miss my clothes. This place is completely barbaric! They are so strict, I had to talk my way into convincing them to let me wear this!" She pointed to her face. I was about to say something, until she started talking again.

"You know, when I was coming up, this head wear was on the rage. So.. I guess some things can be made new again." She said, putting a smile back on her face. We than ate in silence, but that didn't last long.

"Now, since you have agreed to be the Mockingjay, you need a mockingjay outfit."

She pulls out a big black book and opened it. Inside was a beautiful sight. It was a black suit, with a black chest shield. The pants were fitted and had a feather design on the sides. The back of it had a wing design as well. That formed a holder for arrows. The front shoulders also had a wing mockingjay pin was drawn black. Only one person I knew could design something so beautiful yet so fierce.

"It was Cinna's design..wasn't it?" I said, although it might have come out as a whisper. Remembering his bloody face twisted in agony as he was dragged away from me..

"He's dead.. isn't he?" I already knew the answer to that, but I needed confirmation.

"Yes dear.. He is." I closed my eyes as I felt a single tear fall. I ran my hands over the paper feeling the strokes of pencil.

"This was the last thing he ever designed before.. He told me to show you this only if you agreed to be the mockingjay. He believed in you Journey. As do I. And so many others. They have the outfit too. It's here in 13."

Looking at these pictures made me realize how much this is starting to become serious. It's finally happening.

"So when will I-"

"Tomorrow. You will be shooting a few propagandas and after you eat, you should go down to the armory so Beete can give you your weapons."

Me and Gale nodded as we finished eating and than we bid Effie goodbye as we walked to armory room.

"Well.. that was a side of Effie I've never seen before." Gale said with that playful smirk plastered on his face which caused me to do the same.

"Yeah I was thinking the same thing."

As if we couldn't hold it in anymore, we both bursted out laughing at the memory of her appearance in the dining hall still not use to the worn down, no makeup, no color Effie Trinket.

"I can only imagine how she will cope without all of her 'necessities'"

With that said we arrived at the armory and found Beetee in his wheelchair near a desk looking at papers. He must've heard our footsteps as his head shot up to look at us. His glasses were crooked made him seem like he was working hard on something.

"Ah! There you two are."

"Hello Beetee." Gale and I said.

"Hello to you two. Now who wants to see the special surprise I have for the both of you?"

I gave a stiff nod and we were led to a corner that laid out a bunch of weapons.

"Ok for Gale, I made a crossbow, but I tweaked it a little to fit..xtreme situations. Give it a try."

It took Gale two seconds to grab it and walked over to the target practice station. I knew that he was going to hit the target no doubt, but what shocked me was the explosion after.

"Explosive arrows. Beetee you're a genious." Gale said with a satisfied smile.

"Thank you. And for you Journey, I have a very special Bow."

I turned around to find a black, steel bow lying on a stand. I walked over and rubbed my hands along the cool medal. I grabbed a hold of it with a firm hand and suddenly I felt the familiarity.

"I'm guessing mine also come with explosives?" I said still staring the bow in my hand.

"Well yours come with three different kinds of arrows. All are color coded to let you know which is which. The black ones are regular, yellow incendiary, and red is explosive. And Journey can you tell Finnick that I have special Trident for him-"

I completely ignored what he was saying as I grabbed a yellow arrow. I walked over to the target and and positioned the arrow to meet its target. I breathed in and released the arrow.

I hit the target and the whole thing caught on fire. I smiled in victory but when I turned around I saw different expressions.

Gale had a mix of amusement and shock, probably from the noise. Beetee had a somewhat scolding look.

I lowered my bow and gave an apologetic look.

"Oops?" Was all that I could say.

"As I was saying, can you tell Finnick that I made him a special Trident. I think him seeing it will bring his spirits up.. When he's ready."

We all stood in silence. We all knew of Finnick's mental state.

"Ok.." was all I said.

After looking at throwing knives and more weapons we than decided to call it a night.

"How are you feeling.. About tomorrow. You and I both know that when it comes to acting you aren't very…"

He trailed off, but I wanted him to continue.

"I'm not very what?" I asked with a playful scowl on my face.

"That you aren't good at reading or memorizing lines."

I would have been angry at what he said, but how can you be angry with the truth? He was right, I did suck at reading and memorizing lines and I should really have thought that part through.

"I guess I'll just give it my all than…" We fell quiet after that, not speaking the whole way to our rooms. But when we got to mine I felt like tonight wasn't going to be easy for me.

"Gale.." I said as I tugged on his arm as he was about to leave.

"Will you stay with me?"

I could see the worry in his sparkling blue eyes.

"Always."

I didn't feel like getting out of my clothes so we just laid in bed. Both on our side, my head resting on his arm, and his other arm laying over my waist.

"Gale?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think I'll be a good Mockingjay?… I mean… will I be good at leading people?"

"Journey you have no idea what power you have over people."

I turned my head, my eyebrows forward in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"You were a leader from the beginning. People followed even without you giving orders. To them you are the mockingjay. You can demand practically anything. I believe in you. Everyone believes in you."

Everything he said in that moment gave me a surge of comfort and calmness. No worry like he knew the right things to say. Like his words were medicine that healed all the wounds of worry, sadness, and fear.

"I love Gale Hawthorne"

"And I you Journey Lavender."

My cheeks were probably glowing bright red, but in that moment, to hell with my cheek color. I turned my body to face his and as I got comfy, he placed his warm, soft lips onto my forehead. Than to my cheeks and to my nose, but then he finally got to the place where I wanted his lips most.

I loved the feel of his warm lips on mine. It took me nearly 2 years to really appreciate the tingly warm sensation of his lips.

When we, to my dismay, separated our lips I snuggled my head in the crook of his neck and he rested his head on top of mine.

Listening to his steady breath was like listening to a lullaby. My eyelids getting heavy. Pretty soon I was fast asleep.

Morning came quick… too quick for my liking, and the awakening I get is a pepped up Effie Trinket. She demanded Gale out of the room as she carried a black bag that I knew carried the mockingjay outfit. Two other people came in holding what looks to be makeup. Uh oh…

"Now dear, Plutarch is ready and wants you all freshened up. Favia and Helga will do your makeup while I get your outfit out and ready." With that, she left my room and I was left alone with Favia and Helga. They looked nervous for some reason with their stiff postures.

"Um.. Hi." I said trying to sound as polite as I could.

As if waking them out of their trance, they both started walking towards me. Helga sat me down on the bed and Favia took out a makeup kit.

Helga took hold of the blush which was a bright neon pink, and Favia had an eyelid brush with a black shadow. I'm not too big on makeup knowledge, but I knew this was wrong. The makeup people who use to work on my face never did this, but I didn't want to seem rude, so I just kept quiet.

When I closed my eyes to let them do their work I could instantly feel the errors in what they were doing. Favia was just rubbing the black makeup on and I could feel the powder just crumble onto my cheeks. Helga was almost practically giving me bright pink polka dots on my cheeks. This was going to be a disaster..

" **STOP THIS INSTANT!"**

I heard the all too familiar high pitched voice scream. I opened my eyes to see Effie with a horrified look on her face towards me, but an angry scowl at the two prep team people. She ran up to us and grabbed the makeup out of their hands.

"What do you think you savages are doing!? This is the face of a revolution, not some-some cave painting! Now shew!" The two women hung their heads in shame as they walked off and I couldn't help but feel bad for them.

"Thank you!" I said to them. Before they left the room completely, they gave me a small smile. Effie then turned to me with a smile.

"Don't worry Journey. We can fix this mess." She then used a wet towel to wipe off the mess on my face and I started to relax knowing that I was now at the hands of the Effie.

Never thought I'd say that…

When she was finished, Effie brought in the outfit that was now out of it's bag. Effie helped put it on and when we were finally finished she allowed me to look in the mirror.

My hair was up in my usual high ponytail. The eyeshadow was a light grey with light blush and nude lipgloss. The outfit looked even more.. beautiful in person on me. It fit me just right, the pants were tights but allowed me to move without struggle. The feather design on the sides made the pants look even more interesting. The chest plate was fitted to shape my upper body. The wings on my shoulders that met my breast plate were not really wings. They were throwing knives in the shape of wings. The wings design on my back that held my arrows looked even more graceful.

"Now..you are ready." Effie said as she escorted me to the video room.

The room itself was small, with a small round stage in the middle. In front was a large window and behind it stood camera crew and Plutarch.

"Alright Journey you look great, now what I want you to do is walk up on the stage and face me." I follow his directions and I stand on the stage and face Plutarch. Then I was handed a pole.

"Ok, now remember that you have just been in battle and have stormed into the Capitol. Now, your lines will be displayed in front of you, just read as you go along. Alright?"

I nod my head yes, feeling like I was right back at doing at the Capitol doing fake interviews and putting up an act. I get down on one knee trying to get myself into the moment.

"Ready?"

"Yes" I said a little too harsh. I didn't mean it, but Plutarch was being annoying. Although I don't blame him, he did use to work for the Capitol.

"Ok, ready… and… go!"

I rise up, almost falling as I do. I than look up at the screen to see words.

"P-people of Panem we f-fight! We dare to end…"

"Is everything okay?"

"No, it's fine, It's just the words were moving too fast."

"Alright that's okay. Let's just try it again. Whenever you're ready this time."

I get back down on one knee with my head down.

'Come on.. You can do this. You can do this. You've done acting for a year, you can do this..'

I rise up, not falling this time and raise the pole into the air.

"People of Panem we fight! We dare! To end this hunger for justice!" I..somewhat yell? Did I do it right? The looks on Plutarch, Effie, and the camera crew's faces said otherwise. This was more complicated than I thought.

"Was that not good?"

Nobody had time to say anything as a low grumbled voice I knew all too well spoke up from the shadows.

"Now who was the idiot who decided to put this girl in front of the camera… with lines?"

Out of the darkness, stood none other than the… not so drunk, but still crappy looking Haymitch Abernathy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Haymitch..

The memory of me and his in the hovercraft. When I found out about he had gone against his word. When I lost my trust in him.

"What? No hello? Do you always act this rude towards your friends?"

"No, just liars. And I'm use to seeing the guy with a drink in his hand and spilling half of it on the floor because his ass was too drunk." I said with venom laced in my voice. All of that anger towards him was just radiating through my body.

"You know being sober isn't exactly a picnic for me sweetheart."

"Don't expect pity from me Haymitch."

"I'm not asking for it…"

"Why the hell are you even here?"

"Well I'm here to make sure you don't screw anything up."

"Well don't worry, I won't."

"That's not what I just witnessed up on that stage."

I grinded my teeth and walked off, making sure I hit Haymitch's shoulder in the process. But as I left, I heard Haymitch's heavy boots walk behind me. Than I felt his hand stop me.

"Alright would you stop for a second."

I turn to face him, giving him the sign that I was listening to whatever he was about to say.

"Say it." Was all he said.

"What?"

"You and me are going to have to work together now, so you might as well get what you have to say off your chest, so you and I working together will be more bearable for the both of us."

I took a huge breath, letting all of the anger I had explode out of me.

"You promised me! You gave me your word and I trusted you as a friend to save Gale and let me die! If I had died in that Arena, District 12 might still be there and Peeta would be back home! This was your fault! I trusted you! You… betrayed me…"

It felt good getting that off my chest. Now I felt lighter. Calmer

"I know… and I'm sorry. I never wanted to ruin our friendship and I never meant for what happened at District 12 to happen. It was my home too. And Peeta is as much a friend to me as you are. But now, now you have to stop moping around alright! Do you really think I want to be here? Well I don't! I would give anything for a scotch or a whisky. Hell I'm ready to distill my own turnips, but I'm here."

I looked away for a minute. Getting my thoughts in order. He was right. I had to stop moping around. Peeta was still alive. Which means there is still hope and in order to save them we have to work together. Meaning… putting differences aside.

"Ok.. your right. We are putting our differences aside.. Starting now." I said.

He nodded.

Plutarch then came out and met us in the hall.

"Journey and Haymitch, we need you in the meeting room. President Coin has seen the footage and would like to meet with you."

I nodded my head as we followed him to the meeting room along with Haymitch and Effie. In the room sat Coin, Boggs, and Gale were all seated at the table and a board was displayed.

I sat next to Gale, but not before taking off the breast plate, and the weapons off of my suit. Gale looked at me with an arched brow and a smirk. Probably internally laughing at the amount of weapons I was carrying.

"Shut up." I said turning away, hiding the smirk that slowly crept on my face.

"Okay, now we had a little trouble with the propaganda. It wasn't… emotional. It didn't have feeling." Plutarch started.

"I'm not saying you didn't try your best Journey, but I was just..wanting more."

"Well in all fairness, the stuff that you have her read is a bunch of crap. I mean no offense, but she's not the type of girl who reads lines and makes it believable." Haymitch then got up and went to the board.

"Now, remembering Journey's past… emotional moments. For example, when she volunteered for Prim. Or..or.."

"When she sang the lullaby for Rue." Effie said out of the blue. Haymitch looked at her with surprise and… admiration? What?

"Nice example."

"When she chose Rue as an ally." Boggs said. The mentioning of Rue just brought back flashbacks. Of Rue's angelic face. Her dark curls, her dimpled smile. I took in a breath and Gale must've heard me because I felt his hand rub soothing circles onto my leg. I placed my hand on top of his and smiled to him as a way of saying 'thank you'.

"Great! Now what do these all have in common?"

"She wasn't reading from a script. No one was telling her what to do." Gale said still looking at me.

"Of course. SHe wasn't faking it, it wasn't scripted. So maybe we should just let her be." Beetee cut in.

"And wash all of that gunk off of her face. You got a 16 year old girl look 35, it's not right. Especially if she's suppose to look like a rebel fighting in battle. Soldiers do not wear makeup." Boggs said. I smiled in agreement as I hated the use of makeup anyway.

"Hold on.., so you are suggesting that we put her into the battle field?"

"No, we can't protect her up there. There are too many risks, Snow will be looking for her and if we put her out in the open, we can't guarantee her safety. I'm not going to put a young girl's life in danger for effect, this is not the Capitol." Coin said in her usual calm voice. But what she was saying, didn't make sense to me.

"No, I will never be safe. Like you said Madam Coin, Snow is looking for me which means that there is a pretty good chance that he might just find me below or above ground. But if you want to send a strong message, let the Districts and the Capitol know that the Mockingjay is not scared of Snow. Fearlessness can spread through acts of one's bravery. It just has to be that right one. I am that one. So send me out."

"And if you get killed?" As she said that, a smile tugged at my lips.

"Well than you better hope you get that on camera Madam Coin."

Everyone in the room was quiet, but the looks they were giving me were ones of people that had just heard the most inspirational speech of all time. Boggs and everyone looked impressed about what I had to say.

"Ok.. ok we'll do it." Said Coin.

"Alright. Journey, I know a place where you can go that's somewhat safe. District 8 was just bombed last week."

"Ok… then that settles it. Journey, I hope you're ready for this. Gale and Boggs, you need your weapons ready and you two will meet your official camera team on the hovercraft. And Ms. Lavender.. Please be careful out there."

I nodded my head as we were dismissed and I followed Boggs to the hovercraft. There were a group of guys and two girls. One girl I knew all too well.

"Katniss! You're coming too?"

"Yeah, I ask to volunteer to be your guard next to Gale." She said with a smirk. I smiled and hugged her. Than I was met with the other girl. The blond with her hair shaved on the side. She came up to me and shook my hand in a strong grip.

"Journey Lavender, I am Cressida I'll be your head camera girl. This here is my assistant Messalla." Messalla looked no more than Gale's age and he had a sweet face, but the tattoos and piercings said otherwise. He gave me a nod of the head.

"It's an honor to meet you." He said. I smiled and nodded back.

"The Camera men over there are Castor," He gave me a smile and said hello. "And Pollux." Pollux only smiled and nodded. I gave them a smile and a nod back. I didn't notice that Gale, Katniss, and Boggs came into the Hovercraft until Boggs spoke.

"Alright everyone! Strap in!" Me, Gale, and Katniss sat side by side. My crew… wow that's weird to say. My crew sat in front of me. I figured Pollux was just shy, so I wanted to get him to open up.

"So.. are you all from the Capitol, or…?" He still didn't speak. Cressida spoke up.

"He can't speak. Before he came here, he was an avox. His tongue was cut out years ago. But he does know how to do sign language. And no, it wasn't a sort of … rescue. We all decided to leave on our own free will. For this. For you." She said. That gave me chills, but it was nice to know that my influence was getting to people. I saw Castor say something to Pollux and I could have sworn I heard him say 'she's beautiful.' I than saw Pollux nod his head in agreement. My cheeks were probably turning a bright red.

The ride there was quiet except for Boggs giving us instruction on what to do.

"Alright listen up! This will have to be fast! In and out! Do you understand!?" We all nod our heads in agreement.

30 minutes later, we were landing in District 8 and when we left the hovercraft, it was empty. So much different than how we saw it during our Victor Tour.

"Alright everyone move on! Follow me!" And follow we did. I had my bow ready. Gale and Katniss both had their cross bow. We were all on high alert for Capitol hovercrafts.

When we made our way to the Hospital, we were meat by a woman and two men. She came up to me and looked at me from head to toe.

"So it is true. You are alive. We weren't sure." She said.

"Journey this is Commander of District 8." Boggs introduced.

"Nice to meet you" I said.

"Journey is still recovering, but she heard about the bombings and wanted to some and see you and your people."

She gave me a smile and then started walking to walk into the hospital. As I past the two men that guarded her, they both gave me stiff nods. As we got in, the smell of rotted flesh hit our noses and we covered them. She saw our reaction.

"I know, it's strong. But with all the wounded, we don't have the manpower to move them. The hospital room is right behind that curtain up front. Any hope that you can give them Journey… will be more than enough."

The dead bodies were all lined up in rows along the walls. Their bodies covered in white, blood stained sheets. Flies were swarming around them. The curtain was right up front as she said and I could see shadows moving behind it. I could hear groans, moans, and cries.

When she opened the curtain, she revealed hundred upon hundreds of survivors. All were wounded in some way shape and form. I could smell the metallic stench of blood. I stopped. All of it was just hitting me too fast. I've seen a number of wounded in my time. All were children, but this… this was on a whole nother level of sick.

I turned to Cressida trying to catch my breath so I can speak.

"D-don't film me in their. I can't help them."

"It's okay Journey, you don't have to say anything. Just let them see your face. You and Gale should go in first."

I felt Gale's presents beside me in an instant. His hand grasped mine and my breath slowed. I looked up at him and gave him a nod to show that I was ready.

We walked inside and eyes were immediately on us. And everything went quiet. Everyone staring in amazement and shock. I didn't realize I was still walking until I stopped right in the middle of the room.

I than heard a little girl's voice speak out from the silence. It was small and weak, but completely audible.

"Journey Lavender? What are you doing here?" She looked up at me with admiration. Her head was covered in blood. I swallowed the lump that was in my throat.

"I wanted to come and see you."

Another voice spoke. This one sounded old and shaky. I turned to see that it was coming from an elderly woman.

"But… what about the baby? Is your baby okay?"

Gale and I went stiff, remembering that he made up that lie to try and stop the games. Now what do I say?

"I… I lost it."

"Are you going to fight with us Journey?"

I turned around to see a young boy with cuts on his face. He had a look of determination on his face. He held a rifle in his hand.

"I am.. I will fight with you." I said. Taking a step forward. I will fight with them because now, the only way to save them is to fight. There's no other choice.

With that said, everyone in the room kissed their hand and held up three fingers. A salute. I did the same. So did Gale. I saw Cressida and the crew filming in the background.

"I promise to avenge you!" I said.

 **Little did they know what change was about to come in the few minutes of peace.**

At the Capitol, President Snow sat in his office. The screen showed an image of the rebels. And in the mix, he spotted two very familiar people.

"Well, well, well . It looks like the mockingjay is on the rise... Commander Sven!"

A man in a red suit walked in. His face showing no emotion, his posture stiff.

"Send two hovercrafts to District 8. It seems that they never learn to obey orders. Show them the consequences."

"Yes President Snow." Was all he said.

District 8 was about to get a lesson in loyalty.

 **Back at District 8**

We were walking back to the hovercraft. My hands still shaky. Katniss seemed to notice as she gave me a concerned look.

"Are you okay Journey?" I nodded my head in response. My mouth dry.

Boggs stopped walking, getting something on his radio.

"We have a problem!" We all freeze, looking at Boggs, ready to hear more detail.

"Incoming bombers from the North. On sight. We need to find cover now!"

We started running in the nearest building that wasn't destroyed. When we got inside, I immediately heard gunshots. I ran to the nearest window to see what was happening. I could hear Gale, Katniss, and Boggs call after me.

"Ms. Lavender get back away from the wall that's an order!"

I didn't care about his orders, I needed to see what was happening. I saw two of District 8's people out in the open firing their guns in the air. I saw shadows of hovercrafts, than I heard an explosion. Gale pushed me down to the ground before the window could explode in my face. My ears started to rings, as I could hear anything.

It's wasn't until a minute later when I felt a stinging sensation and hot liquid running down my leg that I realize a large chunk of glass was sticking out of my thigh.

I couldn't really tell if I was screaming or not, but the vibrations I was feeling in my throat confirmed that I was.

"Journey! Journey Are you alright!?" Gale was looking down at my leg, deciding what to do with it. He than yanked it out of my leg, which caused me to scream more, but now I can actually hear myself again. My leg was now gushing blood. He than managed to wrap it with a piece of his under shirt.

Katniss and Gale pulled my up and I was now limping. I looked behind me to find everyone was still alright and were covered in dust and debris. Boggs ran up to me.

"Journey! Are you alright!? Is your leg okay to walk on!?"

I nod while giving a thumbs up. I heard the hover crafts come back around and I looked up to see that they were headed towards the hospital. I turned to look at Gale and Katniss, they both knew what I was about to do, and I needed to know if they were with me on it.

They nodded stiffly and followed me out in the clearing and we ran into a high rise building. We than managed to run up the stairs that had minor damage and headed for the roof. When we got to the roof, we saw the two hovercrafts clear as day and knew now was the perfect time to make out shot. But it was too late as I saw the hospital up in smoke and flames.

No…

They circled back around towards us, and I look back at them.

"Are you ready?"

"It's like hunting all over again" Katniss said.

I reached behind me and pulled out the explosive arrow and aimed it to the sky. Gale and Katniss did the same. I knew the arrow wouldn't hit the hovercraft on target, so I waited until the hovercraft was a few feet away. I then pulled back, breathed in and out, released.

There was a moment of anticipation, but then I saw fire hit the wing of the plane and it started to twist and turn and then the whole thing just went down. Gale and Katniss did the same for the other hovercraft and it too went down.

Everything after that was back to silence. We all left the roof and went back to see it there were any survivors of the bombing. But when we got there, there was nothing left. Only fire and rubble. I could even smell the burning of flesh under my nose.

All of the people.. The innocent people that did nothing… to anybody… are now dead. Men, women and children.

"No.."

I tried running into the flames, maybe there could still be survivors. Maybe there's still hope.

But before I could get there, Gale held me back.

"NO! NO! I HAVE TO HELP THEM! I GAVE THEM MY WORD! NO! NO LET ME GO!"

I kept trying to squirm out of his grip but he wouldn't budge.

"Journey! Journey can you turn around and tell the people what just happened!?" Cressida said behind me. I turned around to look at her. The anger building up inside of me, like the fire. The heat rising.

"Where I stand behind me was a hospital! Where many unarmed, wounded, men, women and children just lost their lives. Because of the Capitol! Because of President Snow! I am Journey Lavender. I want you all to know that I am alive and that today I came here to District 8 to comfort the many lives that, because of President Snow, had been demolished into rubble. And just a few moments ago, he took what was left. **THIS IS WHAT HE DOES! HE MAKES YOU BELIEVE THAT THE CAPITOL WILL TREAT YOU FAIRLY, BUT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF YOU AND IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT HE DOES THAN YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF… WHO DO YOU TRUST!? NOW YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS! NOW YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF DOING AND DON'T YOU THINK FOR A SECOND HE WON'T DO THE SAME TO YOU! WE HAVE TO PROTECT OURSELVES AND THE FUTURE OF GENERATIONS TO COME! WE MUST FIGHT BACK!**

I have a message for President Snow. You may think that you can get away with everything. But your luck is waning and your time is running out! Because my flame is getting stronger and fire is catching and I will spread it like a virus! Because If we burn.. I promise you.. **YOU BURN WITH US!** "

"And cut! That was fantastic Journey!" Cressida said. I completely forgot that everyone was here. When I looked around at all the faces, I saw was astonishment and proud faces. The hovercraft flew over us and landed. When we got inside I finally took a breath that I was holding. I put my head in my hands and took deep breaths. I felt Gale rub soothing circles onto my back.

No one dared to speak the whole ride back to 13.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

When we arrived back at District 13, I was immediately embraced by my family including Mrs. Everdeen and Prim and even Finnick. I felt calmer now knowing that they were all here. Everyone else from District 13 surrounded us and clapped their hands and were cheering.

"J.J! You were awesome out there! I have the coolest sister ever!" Flex said out of the blue running up to me.

"You know, when they call you the girl on fire they really aren't lying." Finnick said with that million dollar smirk.

"Well I can see you're feeling better." I said with sarcasm.

"We're so glad you guys are okay. We saw the footage... Journey… I am so proud of you." Mom said as she put me in a death grip.

I sucked on my teeth as she accidently hit my thigh. I then started to loose balance as my mom held onto my arms for support. She looked down to see the cloth wrapped around my thigh soaked in blood.

"Journey how the hell did that happen?" Finnick asked.

"She was too close to a bomb and it shattered the window and a shard hit her leg." Gale explained.

"Oh! Come on dear, Prim and I can get that healed quickly."

Mom and Katniss both carried me to the medical room. Gale and Finnick were right behind me. When we arrived, they laid me down on the bed and now my blood was staining the white sheets.

Great..

Mrs. Everdeen cut the cloth off and the puncture wound was really bad. When the shard of glass went into my leg, it went deep, almost hitting the bone.

"Journey, how long ago did this happen?" Prim asked.

"I don't know maybe an hour and a half." I said.

"Okay, well thank God Gale covered it, if he didn't you would have bled to death." I look up at her in alarm.

"Well that was comforting Prim." I said with sarcasm, trying to lighten the mood.

Prim started putting stitches in and Mrs. Everdeen was mixing some kind of liquid. I hated needles and now I'm getting stabbed over and over with one. Great.

I held Gale's hand and Finnick held my other. To say that I was hurting their hands… well that was not an understatement. Great, now I'm acting like a baby..

When the stitches were finally done, Mrs. Everdeen poured the mix onto my leg and it stung like hell.

"AHHH! W-what the hell is that!?"

"It's suppose to speed up the healing to a couple hours."

I started to shake, it felt like she poured hot alcohol onto my wound, but thankfully after a few minutes, the burning sensation stopped. After that, I kind of started to feel it working. Since I was feeling better, I told the boys to leave so I can wash all of the blood and debris off of me.

After I got all washed up, they said I was ready to go.

"Just be careful of the leg. Don't strain it too much until it's fully healed." Mrs. Everdeen said with a stern look. I only nodded.

I hugged Prim goodbye as she and her mom had things to do in the the medical center. I was now in the main hall to find everyone still standing around.

Coin came up to me and surprisingly hugged me.

"Thank you Journey. You were right, filming out there was the better choice. Now, pretty soon we will have all the Districts lined up to fight with us." She said.

I just nodded not knowing what to say as her action still left me in shock.

Coin walked up to the stage and gave her speech, but I just left to go to my room. Too tired and not wanting to hear anything.I just needed peace to collect myself. I got out of the outfit and just wore a long white shirt to bed.

It took no time for my to fall asleep, but the dreams… were bothersome.

 _I was in a meadow. A meadow filled with green trees, white flowers, and yellow sunflowers. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. The sway of the grass and flowers. The air seemed cold. I saw something, a dark figure leaning against one of the big oak trees. It seemed small, so I walked up to it to get a better look._

 _When I got close enough, I saw that it was a girl. But not just any girl, it was Rue. Little Rue with her dark curls falling in front of her face. Her face looked still. No emotion. Lifeless. I reached out a hand to stroke her face and she looked up at me. Tears in her eyes._

" _WHY!? WHY DIDN'T YOU COME BACK FOR ME! YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T LET ANYBODY HURT ME!"_

 _I looked down at her chest to see blood flowing out from her wound._

 _No… no. NO! I did come back for you!_

" _You're deadly Journey. You killed me, just like how you killed those people in the hospital."_

" _No.."_

" _Just like how you killed District 12. You're the reason Peeta was taken. You're a murderer. And you'll end up killing everyone you care about. Your deadly."_

 _NO! THIS ISN'T REAL!_

 _NO! NO! NO! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!_

My eyes shot open. I had to catch a shaky breath and I noticed that I was sweating. Tears were pouring out of my eyes and I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. I had to keep telling myself that it was a dream. Nothing more than a dream. My head was just playing tricks on me. I needed to relax. I decided to just try to go back to sleep.

-Later that night, something happened in District 7 that was a turning point for District 13. The people of District 7 rebelled. And President Coin was more than pleased. But President Snow, was more than furious.

The next day was a somewhat slow day. I woke up at around 4 a.m before everyone else. I figured that I might as well get to the dining hall before everyone else so I got dressed quickly.

Everyone was still asleep,s o it was nice to roam around without anyone there. But when I arrived at the dining hall, I found Gale sitting at a table, looking at the screen. On the screen I saw Caesar and… Peeta!

I ran up to the screen to get a better look at him. What I saw scared me. He looked skinnier. More fragil. His cheeks looked sunken in, his eyes looked tired and weak. The purple suit looked 3 sizes too big on him.

"What the hell are those bastards doing to him?"

"I-I wish I could give this rose to you Katniss." I put my hand over my mouth in shock. His voice… was shaken and fragil.

He was holding a white rose that resembled so much of Snow's roses.

"Journey Lavender... A sweet girl who has sparked so much violence. You must love her very much to forgive her for the destruction she has caused Peeta. I don't think I ever could. Unless of course you think she's being forced to this."

I kept my eyes on Peeta.

"He's shaking… He looks scared..." I said to Gale, keeping my eyes onto the screen.

"Yes. That is exactly what I think. I doubt she knows what's happening. What just happened at District 7."

I turned to Gale confused.

"What happened at District 7?"

"They rebelled against the Peacekeepers. The people killed the peacekeepers."

"Yes Peeta, but I doubt the rebelles will ever let her see this interview. But if she is watching, what would you like to say to her. To Journey Lavender?"

He looked to the camera, his eyes looked like he was forcing them open.

"I would tell her to think for herself. Journey… don't be a fool. I know you. You never meant for the rebellion. You never wanted any of this to happen." He was starting to cry and I couldn't take it anymore. I walked out of the room and went back upstairs but Gale was following behind me.

"Journey wait! Hold up!"

"Did you see him!? Did you see what they're doing to him!?"

"Yes I saw, but you need to calm down-"

"We need to do something. We need to act now. We-we have to… we have to-" I couldn't hold it in anymore I bursted out in tears as Gale held me.

"Shhh… shhh it's okay. It's okay. He will be okay."

"No he won't! They're torturing him. But I have no idea why he said that.. Why is he defending the people that destroyed his home!? That killed his family! It's not making sense!"

"Because he doesn't know. Journey… no one knows what happened to 12. There was no broadcast of it. Maybe.. Maybe if we show it on video, maybe then he'll see."

We both ran towards Coin's office and she was sitting there looking at papers.

"Good morning, what brings you here?"

"We have an idea." Gale said.

"We need to go back to 12. Give a broadcast of what happened there. That will make more people see what the Capitol is really doing."

We gave her a minute to think about it. I thought she was going to say no, but to my surprise, she agreed.

"Ok.. There's no real danger down there and you might be right on the exposure. First thing when everyone wakes up.. You and your crew will leave. And I don't need to tell you to be careful."

She said dismissing us. When we left to get ready I had a feeling of hope. Hoping for this plan to work. Hoping that Peeta sees the footage.

When I was ready, I was wearing my jumpsuit and I brought my bow and arrow along. Gale did the same.

We than headed up to the hovercrafts.

"Do you really think this will work?" I asked Gale. Doubts spread through my mind.

"Of course I do." He said, showing me a big smile. Inside, I knew he was just saying that to make me feel better so I just let it slide.

When we got to the hovercraft, Katniss and my 'crew' were all ready with their cameras and such.

We than boarded the hovercraft and we took off back to District 12. Deep down I didn't want to go back. The first time was enough for me to have an episode, but that was when I was alone. Maybe with Gale and Katniss, it will be easier. Maybe…

I heard the pilot tell us that we were landing, and my knees started to shake. Katniss saw and gave me a look that said 'are you okay?'

I just looked back at her and nodded, trying to give a smile, but I failed at that. I couldn't help but notice her shaking hands. This must be hard on her too. I mean, this was our home, but Katniss was there when it really happened. I was starting to worry more about her than about myself.

When we left the hovercraft, we were met with the destruction. It was like coming back here the first time all over again. Everything was still in it's place except for the fires. They were finally gone. I could tell that this was taking an emotional toll on all of us as we all stood frozen in our spots. Just.. looking around.

"O-okay.. Pollux I want you to get wide shots of some of the buildings and Messalla, turn to Journey." Cressida whispered. I paid no mind to them, I was just staring out into the now rubble covered streets.

"Journey, can you tell us what happened here?"

I tried to say something. Anything. But I couldn't, I mean what could I tell? I wasn't even there when it happened.

"We were all standing right here watching the games when Journey fired her arrow into the sky." We all turned to Katniss. Her eyes were glued to the ground, talking as if she were in a trance.

"But, after that, everything went dark. The power went out, and the screens went black. Everyone in the square were confused. We didn't know what happened. So, the peacekeepers ordered us to go home. And we did. For.. two hours at the most, everything and everyone were quiet. But then we heard the trucks pull up. I went outside to see what was going on and I saw all of the peacekeepers leaving. I knew that meant something bad was about to happen, so I took mom and Prim and Journey and Gale's family with me to the fenceline. That was when we heard firebombs in the distance. I looked back to see the town up in fire and smoke. I ran back to the town and tried to help as many as I could, but the smoke was building up. It was getting harder and harder to see the surroundings in the dark. Everyone was running around frantic. They were trample over people. Children, the elder, just everyone. I heard screaming and crying coming from little kids. Me and a few others started grabbing people left and right. I grabbed a few kids. As many as I could carry..."

Katniss started to walk down to the square. I wanted to stop her from seeing the bodies, but something told me she already knew that they were down there.

We followed her.

When we got down to the square, I could here many gasps and intakes of breath. Seeing the burnt bodies and the the blood splatters. The smell of it all. I had to grab Gale's hand just to keep me from falling.

"Nine hundred.. And twenty people made it out alive. Nine hundred and twenty out of ten thousand of the people I called family. I could've done more.. I could've.."

I pulled Katniss into a hug. I didn't know I was crying until I heard the soft sobs coming from Katniss. Seeing the aftermath was nothing compared to seeing it happening and Katniss had to see it.

"I-I'm so sorry, I c-couldn't s-save more. I'm so sorry.."

"It's okay. You don't have to apologies for anything. It wasn't your fault Katniss, you saved as many as you could and that was more than enough. The only one to blame is Snow."

It was quiet. The only thing that could be heard was out sobs that echoed out in the clearing.

"Journey's right Katniss. If it wasn't for you, there would be no survivors. Not even the memory of District 12. You're a hero Katniss never forget that." Cressida said.

Katniss and I let go of each other and Gale then hugged Katniss. His wet stained cheeks giving evidence that he was crying too.

"Thank you Katnip. For saving my family.." I heard him whisper. I smiled at his use of her nickname. Katnip. The irony behind the true meaning of why we nicknamed her that came back into my mind.

When they stopped hugging, Cressida, Pollux and Messalla stopped filming. We wiped our tears and in the Distance I noticed that the Victors village was untouched by the bombs. Figures.

"Hey guys, can we go up there for a few minutes?" I asked them.

Gale looked up at where I was staring and gave a sour look.

"Of course they would leave the Victors village on touched."

We started walking up the hill and opened the gates. We than entered my home.

My stomach started to growl and so did the other's, so I figured why not take some food for the road. I mean it wasn't technically stealing since with was in my house. I grabbed bread from the cooler and jelly. There were also some grapes that, to my surprise, hasn't been spoiled yet.

I heard a creak in the floorboard that signaled that someone was in here. My reflexes turn on and I grabbed an arrow and was about to shoot.. Gale.

"Hey-hey. Easy, it's just me. Sorry.. I- I guess I'm just not use to you being so… jumpy."

I lowered my bow and arrow and playfully glared at him.

"You better get used to it, or else one of these days there will be an arrow right between your eyes."

He gave a thoughtful laugh.

"Yeah, I'll try to remember that." She said. He than looked down to the kitchen table. Rubbing his hands along the bloody stains and I realized.

This was the room where Gale and I had our first real kiss.

"Do you remember this spot?" He asked in a low grumbled voice.

"Yeah.."

"This was where you kissed me." A small smiled tugged at his lips.

"I didn't think you'd remember that, I thought you forgot..." I said, and for the life of me I couldn't hide the blush that wash creeping on my cheeks.

" No.. I would have to be dead to forget your lips Journey Lavender. Maybe not even then." He then looked up at me. His blue eyes piercing through mine, like he was trying to find my soul. My cheeks, probably just went three shades darker.

"Is that blush that I see before me Ms. Lavender?"

He walked up to me and put his arms around my waist, pulling me closer.

"Shut up." Was the only comeback I could think of.

Gale just found it funny as I could hear him chuckle. I was about to say 'shut up' again, but Gale silenced me with his lips.

Yep. I will never get tired of Gales warm soft lips on mine. Sending shivers down my spine and goosebumps along my arms. When I laid my along his jawline, I noticed that Gale was growing stubble. I couldn't help the smirk that appeared on my lips.

"What?" I heard Gale, though his low voice made it sound more like a growl.

"Nothing, I-well.. I just noticed that you have stubble on your jaw. It's just strange...I've never seen you with facial hair before." I said giggling. Yes, I giggled.

He seemed to find it funny as well, and as he chuckled, he grabbed me by my back thighs and lifted me on top of the table. Thank God my wound was healed.

His lips then attacked mine in a more hungry act. I felt his hands go to the front of my jumper and started to unzip it, but a hissing from behind us interrupted us. We jumped at the sound and turned our backs to see a black cat. Wait a minute…

"MIDNIGHT!" I said. I grabbed the cat and it started to purr in my arms confirming that it was indeed Midnight. His beautiful green eyes staring at me.

Gale rubbed his head and he purred louder, reaching his head into Gales touch.

"Well we always seem to get interrupted but I'd say this is the first time ever to get interrupted by a cat."

I than heard more hissing beside us. We turned our head to see a long haired cat that looked scruffy with it tousled orange brown hair.

"Oh my God it's Buttercup… Gale we have to take them with us."

"Are you crazy? Journey they won't allow pets in District 12."

"Too bad, Coin said under a few conditions and this will be one of them. Plus she doesn't even have to know about it." I said as I stuffed them into my bag.

"Alright.. Just be careful."

"I always am."

"Now where were we?"

"I think we were.. Right about… here." I said as I leaned in to kiss him again, but we heard a throat clear.

"You know, I really hate to interrupt… but we're hungry." Cressida said as she was standing near the doorway, arms crossed and a smirk plastered on her face.

We got off of each other and straightened ourselves up. My cheeks were probably on a whole new shade of red.

We walked out of the kitchen and we then left the house. As I passed Katniss, hissing came from my bag. Katniss must've heard it as she looked at me.

"Journey.. What the hell is in your bag?" I just ignored her and started speed walking, but Katniss was not backing down. She yanked my bag off my shoulder and opened it.

It revealed Midnight and Buttercup, both hissing at the site of Katnip. She than closed the bag, giving it back to me.

"Are you crazy, why the hell did you bring them?"

"I couldn't just leave them, and Prim and Flex have been talking about Buttercup and Midnight lately-"

"Alright-alright. But just be careful. If anyone at District 13 sees them, then these cats will end up as our next meal."

"Somehow I think you would enjoy it." I said with a smirk.

"Oh Immensely." She said smirking back. We both laughed as we walked out from the fenceline to a clearing next to a river. We all sat down and I took out the bread, jam, and grapes that I took from the kitchen.

Everyone ate in silence. All that could've been heard was the munching on bread, and the birds chirping. It was nice to feel the sun on my face. I missed it.

I than felt someone tap on my shoulder. I look to my right to see Pollux. He smiled and pointed to a mockingjay sitting on the rocks. Oh the irony..

He then pointed to his mockingjay pin, and I knew what he was asking.

"Yeah. That is a mockingjay." I said smiling. His smile seemed to be contagious.

He then whistled that all too familiar tune. The bird whistled back the tune. Then more birds started to sing and it kept going and going.

"Oh great.. Now they will never shut up." Gale grumbled beside me. I tried my best to not smile.

I felt Pollux tap my shoulder again, and when I looked at him, he put his fingers up to his lips and then flared them outwards. Oh…

"You want me to sing?"

He nodded yes.

He seemed really sweet, and I didn't want to disappoint him, but what could I sing?

"Hey Journey, why don't you sing that song our fathers sang to us?" Katniss said from behind me. I looked to her with forward brows, but then I came to realize what she was talking about. It was a song, not so much a lullaby, but our fathers would sing it all the time. But it's been so long.. I can't even remember most of it. But I had to try.

"Why don't you sing it Katniss? You have a good voice?"

"No way. I don't think so. But I've heard you sing with Prim many times. You sing it."

"But I don't remember all the words…"

"It's okay, I'll hum it. Maybe it'll bring back the memory." she said.

I took a deep breath. Feeling the heat on my face, I closed my eyes.

" _Are you.. Are you… Coming to the tree._

 _They strung up a man they say who murdered three._

 _Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be…_

 _If we met, at mid-night in the hanging tree._

 _Are you.. Are you.. Coming to the tree._

 _Where a dead man called out… for his love to flee._

 _Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be._

 _If we met at mid-night in the hanging tree._

 _Are you… Are you… coming to the tree._

 _Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free._

 _Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be._

 _If we met at mid-night in the hanging tree._

 _Are you.. Are you… coming to the tree._

 _Wear a necklace of rope side by side with me._

 _Strange things did happen here, no stanger would it be._

 _If we met, at mid-night in the hanging tree._

 _Are yo-"_

"Coin is telling us to come back." Cressida said, bringing me back down to Earth. I looked around to see everyone was staring at me.

We then got up and starting packing. We had to walk back to the fenceline and waited for the hovercraft. When it finally came, everyone got on and I sat next to Gale, with my head resting on his shoulder.

Everyone else was fast asleep. But I stayed awake. Overthinking everything that happened today. My brain seems to be over thinking a lot lately and minus the dreams it's been depriving me of sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

It was night by the time we got back to District 13, Gale and Katniss went straight to the meeting room, but I went to go find Prim and show her my little surprise. I found her in the medical room with Mrs. Everdeen. I had to make sure they were alone. When I saw the coast was clear, I walked in.

"Prim, I found someone who really wants to see you." I said smiling.

"If you're talking about Rory, I-"

"No, no. Not Gale's little brother. I'm talking about someone else.

"Who?"

Right on que, meowing erupted from my bag and I saw Prim's face light up as bright as day

"Buttercup!" She exclaimed as she grabbed the fur ball into her arms. The cat started to lick her face, and I swear that cat could be part dog.

"Where did you find him?"

"Back at District 12. Him and Midnight were hanging around the Victor's village."

"Thanks you Journey. Prim hasn't been the same with buttercup…. But You do know that he can't be seen right?"

"Yes mom, I know." Prim said as she rubbed Buttercup's back. I rubbed his head and then I remembered I had a meeting to go to.

"Can you put Midnight in Flex and mom's room for me? I have a meeting to go to."

She smiled at me and nodded. I gave her a 'thank you' hug and was off back to that damned meeting room.

When I got to the doors, I heard a voice. It was weak, but familiar.

"Peeta!" I ripped the doors open and ran inside to see Peeta on the screen. He made me stop in my tracks. He looks even worse than he did before, if that were even possible. The sight of him, almost made me sick to my stomach. I looked to see Katniss standing near the screen, one hand over her mouth, the other holding her stomach. I ran up to her and hugged her.

" _Tonight, we've received reports of derailed trains, of granaries on fire, and of a savage attack on the hydroelectric dam."_

"What the hell have they done to him?" I heard Katniss whisper beside me.

" _I am begging… for restraint and decency…"_

The image cut off, and then it showed a video of me walking on top of the rubble of District 12. The audio was of me singing Hanging Tree..

"What the hell? How did they-" Realization came over me as I remember Cressida holding her camera as I sang in the woods today.

The image then cut back to Peeta who now looked alarmed. Like a dog hearing his master's voice.

"J-Journey? Is that you?"

"He sees the footage." I heard Haymitch say behind me. I completely forgot he was here. He looked as worried for Peeta as I was. I came to realize that he's never seen Peeta's interviews.

"Peeta.. I- I'm here…" I knew he couldn't hear me, but goddamnit I wish he did. I felt a presence behind me, and I realized that it was Gale.

He than turned back to the camera, tears glistening in his eyes that were once bright.

"The attack on the dam… was an inhuman act, of distruct-"

It cut off again. Showing more footage, this time it was me and Katniss hugging and crying in the square. The footage didn't last long as it cut back to Peeta again. This time, the tears rolled down his now pale sunken in cheeks.

"Katniss? Katniss if you're watching this, I need you to know that I love you.."

"I love you Peeta.." She said next to me.

"And Journey.. You'll always be my sister and I love you. You need to listen to me. No one is safe. Not here in the Districts or in the Capitol… They are coming Journey. They're going to kill everyone! They're going to drop bombs on 13 and you'll be dead by morning!-"

No! NO! Come back Peeta!

"Oh my God Peeta! No! No! Come back!"

"He was warning us... that was a warning!" Haymitch said to us.

"Katniss shh.. He'll be okay.." I didn't believe a word I just said, but she had to calm down before she has a panic attack.

"We have to get him out before they kill him." Katniss screamed at Coin.

"Katniss is right, he just betrayed them, we need to get him out before they do anything to him."

"He was in the Capitol.. He could've overheard them." Gale said.

She was too busy focused on the warning listen to us. Katniss glared daggers at her back.

"Get me visuals from outside please." Coin said in a calm voice.

"We see incoming crafts coming from the North side Madam Coin."

"How much times do we have?"

"5 minutes at the most…"

Everyone was silent. Waiting for orders on what to do.

"It's time for an air raid drill. Now!"

We all looked at each other for a moment filled silence and then we started running out of the meeting room. Gale and Katniss ran to get their families. We all promised to meet up downstairs. The sirens were blasting, echoing and everyone filled the halls. Some were walking, others were running. I had to get to Flex and mom, and I had to get to them fast.

I was pushing through people left and right and I even lost my way as I couldn't see where I was going. I finally got to their rooms, but when I got to there, they were gone..

CRAP! Where could they have gone. I had to clear my mind, I need to think! But t-these goddamn sirens! The ringing in my ears just couldn't allow me to think!... Maybe they're already down stairs.

I ran down the hall and then followed a group of people to the stairs and I met up with Katniss.

"Where's Prim!?" Katniss yelled in front of me.

"I don't kno-" The lights turned off, and then before we knew it, the ground started shaking. As if things couldn't get any worse, there was water pouring from the ceiling. People were starting to panic, run and scream. I almost got pushed of the stairs twice.

"She might be in the medical center!" I screamed remembering that's where I saw her a few minutes ago.

"I already looked, she's not there."

Realization struck me. I asked her to go and hide the cats. And being Prim, that means…

"She went back for the damn cats!" I yelled as I ran back up the stairs followed by Katniss.

"Goddamnit Prim!" Katniss shouted behind me.

We went back up and were practically running the slippery wet floors blind. Another bomb must've hit, and I lost my balance at the intensity of the shake. Katniss however grabbed my arm to prevent me from falling.

We then saw three people running towards us. One, had blond hair and was holding an orange fluff ball. The other, was smaller with jet black hair and was holding Midnight.

"PRIM!" Me and Katniss said at once running to the small group.

"J.J!" A little boy's voice screamed out.

"FLEX!" I ran faster and I picked him up in a hug. He was holding a now soaked Midnight and Prim was holding a soaked Buttercup.

"Prim are you crazy!? You went back for the cats, what the hell is wrong with you!?" Katniss yelled. Prim had a look on her face oh a little girl who just got scorned by her mother.

"Gale! On my God thank you!" I said, I looked around to see if there were any signs of my mother.

"Gale.. have you seen my mother?"

"She should already be downstairs…"

 **DOORS WILL BE CLOSING IN 15 SECONDS.**

That was all we needed to hear before we dashed across the hall and down the stairs. I was trying for the life of me to not slip and fall.

 **9...8...7...6…**

"Hold the doors!" We screamed hoping someone listened.

 **5...4…**

We were almost there just a little bit further…

 **3...2….1….**

We all fell in, just inches away from almost being stuck outside. We took a breath, trying to slow our heart rate. When we grasped the fact that we were alive, we all set out to look for our families. I was holding a shaken hand of Flex while we walked down the isles of bunks, looking for mom.

"MOM! MOM WHERE ARE YOU!?"

"MOMMY!" Flex screamed.

"MOM!"

There was nothing. No sign of her as we walked up and down the aisle. We should've found her by now. I didn't want to think of her still out there so, I just had to get those thoughts out of my head. I found an empty bunk bed and I placed Flex on to it. The bunk was right in front of Katniss and the Everdeens.

Katniss looked to us and noticed mom was missing.

'Where's your mom?' She mouthed.

'I don't know..' I mouthed back.

The bombs just wouldn't stop, and at this rate I thought the ceiling was going to cave in. The walls were being cracked just by the vibrations. Flex sat next to me, under my arm with his knees to his chest. I had one arm around him and one arm holding Midnight. These vibrations weren't doing anything for my comfort our comfort and I had to count in my head. It was a trick Mrs. Everdeen told me about to calm myself whenever I feel unsafe or whenever I feel like I'm about to have an attack. I had to relax, before I had an episode in front of Flex which was something I didn't want to happen.

Just breath… in… out. In…. out…

Then all of a sudden… the bombs stopped. We waited a few minutes to be sure, and when the loud noises and shaking had stopped, we all started to relax a bit. I was still on edge because they're were still no sign of mom.

"J.J where's mom?" Flex whispered in my ear.

"I don't know Flex.. but I'm sure she's fine." I said as cheerful as I could.

A few hours went on in silence. People were checking for injuries and checking to see if their families were okay.

Some of the lights went out, so we all used our flashlights. What we noticed was that the cats… were following the lights. Me and katniss looked to each other and smirked.

We then, shun the lights on the floor and the cats just followed it. It was really cute to watch the cats get frustrated and tried to touch the light with more force. Some of the kids watched us, and I heard giggles coming from the watchers. Well, I'm glad I could make some people smile.

Flex on the other hand was sound asleep.

I looked around to see if I could spot Gale, and I saw him laying down on one of the bunks. I was alarmed as I didn't see any of his family with him. I handed my flashflight to Prim and I walked over to see what was going on.

"Gale? Is everything alright?" I asked. He looked up at me with forward brows.

"Yeah.. why are you asking?"

"Well I didn't see your family with you so I thought-"

"Woah woah calm down. My family's over there. It's just that there isn't any room to fit all of us on one bunk.

"Oh… S-sorry."

"It's okay.. Have you found your mom yet?"

"No… and I'm starting to worry."

Gale put his hand on top of mine, trying to calm my shaking.

"It'll be okay… I'm sure we'll find her."

"It's not the finding her I'm worried about. It's the finding her dead part that I am." I said with bitterness laced in my voice. "I swear deep down I think Snow is enjoying this. Seeing us suffer."

"Well I wouldn't be surprised. The man is a sick, deluded basterd."

"Yeah…" was all that I said before we went into total silence.

I saw Finnick in the Distance. I looked to Gale and he saw where I was looking and nodded. I got up and went over to see him staring at his picture of Annie.

"Hey.. can I sit down?" I whispered.

"Sure.." He moved so I could sit.

"Finnick.. You know Snow is doing this to punish us right? I kind of known for a while now."

"Yeah.. I knew for a while too. President Snow isn't the most… sane person in the Capitol. He's done some pretty.. Horrible things to many people over the years."

I looked at Finnick in question.

"How do you know that?"

"Do you really want me to tell you?"

I nodded my head. I could see it in his eyes that he didn't want to talk about it, but I couldn't help the curiosity that overtook me.

"Well.. you know of my role in the Capitol." I nod my head yes. Remembering that Finnick was practically a prostitute in the Capitol. " A few years back, I decided-"

"Journey?"

I looked up to see Boggs.

"Yes?"

"President Coin needs to see you."

I looked to Finnick, as I kind of wanted to stay and here his story.

"It's okay. You can go. I can tell you another time." He said with a smirk.

I only nodded as I followed the man out of the doors and into a room where Coin, Plutarch, Haymitch and Effie were all standing.

"Ms. Lavender, it's nice to know you are okay. And of your family?"

"Flex is alright.. But I still can't find my mother." I said.

Coin look at me for a second. "Don't worry, we'll have a search team find her shortly. I'm sure she'll be alright. Not much was damaged."

"Thank you Madam Coin." I said with, for once, true meaning. Don't get me wrong Coin seemed like a nice person, but I knew something was underneath all that calmness. I just wondered what it would be.

Okay now that that's settled, l need your help Journey. I need you to go outside and I need you to give a message to Panem. I need you to tell them that district 13 is still standing strong and so is our Mockingjay. Can you do that?"

Can I do that? The question I've been asking myself for years.

"Yes." Was all I could say.

"Alright. Everyone will be escorted out by Boggs. Effie, I want you to write a few lines for Journey to say." We all nod our heads and walk out, but before I left, Coin stopped me.

"And Journey, because of Peeta's warning, we had 6 minutes of evacuation time. He saved a lot of lives tonight. I won't forget that." A smile played on my face. Happy at knowing one person in District 13 didn't think of Peeta as a traitor.

I then left to follow Boggs who went back to the bunkar to fetch Katniss and Gale. When we were all ready, we started going above ground.

"Alright Journey! Here are your lines. '13 is alive and well and so am I.'" Effie said in her usual peppy voice.

I turn my back to look at her.

"That's it?"

"Knowing you Journey, that should be more than enough."

I shrugged my shoulders at her words. Fair enough. We started climbing some stairs and before we knew it, we were outside. It was early morning and the bright light almost blinded me. I had to cover my eyes for a second. When I opened my eyes again, it was much more bearable to see. But the sight before me wasn't.

The scene before me reminded me of District 12. All of the rubble piled high. But something caught my eye. A dark figure, laid under a few rocks, a few feet away. It was moving too. I got closer to see that it was my mother.

"MOM!?" I ran to her as fast as I could. I dropped to my knees and started to try and push the rubble off of her, but the cement was too heavy for me. It was laying on top of her legs and her waist. I could see blood flowing from under the rock. I saw Gale and Boggs run towards me.

"Help me get this off of her!" I screamed, still trying to lift the rock.

"J-Journey? Is t-that you?"

"Mom, I'm right here." I held her bloody scraped hand in mine. Her hand shaking violently.

"J-Journey, I'm sorry, I tried looking f-for you, but t-the walls caved in- AHHHH!"

She screamed. I looked and saw Boggs had a pole under the rock, and him and Gale were pushing down on the pole. It was lifting the rock off of her.

"It's working! Mom it's working! Don't worry, we're going to have you out in no time." I said trying to lighten the mood. Maybe if I saw her smile, letting me know that she was okay, I would feel better.

The rock started to roll towards me.

"Journey move!" Gale yelled.

I crawled out of the way, my knees getting bloody as it scraped against the broken cement and I let go of her hand.

When the rock was finally off of her, I crawled back towards her.

I saw that the rubble had smashed her legs, and I wasn't a doctor, but I could immediately tell that there was a large chance that my mom, might lose her legs.

"I-I-Is F-Flex okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah he's okay, Gale got to him in time." I said. She turned her eyes to Gale and smiled. I then noticed the blood dripping from her mouth.

"T-thank you G-Gale."

"You're welcome…" Was all he said. She then turned her back to me.

"J-Journey, i-in case I d-don't make it. I just w-want y-you to know that I am very proud o-of y-you. And I-I want y-you to take care of F-Flex."

"Mom don't! You're going to be okay."

"Your daughter's right Mrs. Lavender, you'll be okay. I'm sure you know we have the best medical team in the Districts." Boggs said. He turned to me.

"We have to move her inside." He told me. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to be moved away from my mother.

"Journey.. It's okay. They're going to help her." Gale said as he placed his warm hands onto my shoulders.

I reluctantly let go of her hand, as Boggs carried her back inside. Her eyes never leaving mine, and mine never leaving hers. And then with a blink of an eye, she was gone.

I stood frozen in this position. My knees started to hurt, but I didn't pay no mind to it. I than started to smell something. Flowers. The sweet smell of flowers… I looked down to see white roses, scattered everywhere. I was about to pick up one, but my hands. Were covered in blood.

Oh my God…

Rue… Rue was right. I am deadly. I.. this was my fault. Now my mother's hurt, and it was because she was looking for me.

"No…"

"Journey…" Cressida said.

"NO! Don't.. Don't touch me!"

"Journey calm down-" Haymitch said.

"NO! NO! Don't make me do this! I can't do this please. Please don't make me do this. Please!"

"Journey-" Cressida kept urging on..

" **DON'T. MAKE. ME. DO. THIS!"**

"You don't have to do anything. Journey, look at me."

I looked up into crystal blue eyes. Mesmerizing eyes. Eyes that could only belong to one person.

Gale.

"It's okay. You're mom is going to be okay, everyone is okay. You're safe. You're safe, you're here with me. You're here with me you're safe."

I'm.. I'm here. I'm safe. I'm safe. My family's safe. Flex is safe. Mom is safe. It's okay. Everything is okay.

I hugged Gale as I couldn't catch my breath.

"Breath…" He whispered in my ear. I could feel his chest rise and fall in slow breath, and pretty soon, my chest copied his movements. I started to feel my body become untense, and my arms fell the my sides.

Gale kept an arm around my waist, holding me up, as my legs felt weak. We started to walk to the stairs and I saw Haymitch look at me with worry and pity. That's how everyone looked at me at this moment. I walked over to him and hugged him. All of my anger towards him were completely gone.

"I'm okay." Was what I said and than I went back to Gale's side. As we went back inside, Gale whispered sweet nothings to me to help me stay calm.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I found a small hidden room, between two walls that seemed to be a perfect place to collect myself. Gale sat me down on the floor and he sat next to me. My head laid on his shoulder.

"Journey.."

"I'm not cut out for this. You were right. I'm too weak to be the mockingjay."

"No, Journey listen I was wrong. What I said before. You have proved to me that you do have what it takes. I am so proud of you for what you've done. And I love you for the woman that you are."

More tears started to slide down my face. Gale didn't deserve me. He deserved someone better. Someone not… broken. We heard footsteps approach. I looked up to see Haymitch.

"Hey.."

"Hi." Me and Gale said.

"Can I talk to Journey alone.?" He was asking Gale for permission? Wow that's knew.

"Sure…. Journey I'm going to go check on your mother. I'll be back soon, I promise."

He gave me quick kiss goodbye and now it was just me and Haymitch. He came to sit across from me.

"You know… I always liked the thought of you two together. I'm sure in the beginning you had no feelings for him, but he sure did have feeling for you."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked him.

"Well… because we're friends and I thought this is what friends do." What he said actually brought a smile to my face.

"So you think of us as friends?"

"Well yeah. Don't get me wrong, you are a stubborn pain in my ass at the best of times, but even though you hate to admit it, you remind me of myself in a way."

"Oh God.." I said cringing.

"Not the drunken asshole part. You know the smartmouth, sarcastic part. Also, you're a lot like me in the stubborn department which is why I can put up with it better than Effie ever could."

"So… is that why you wanted to talk to me?"

"Well there is something else.."

"Spit it out Haymitch." I said getting frustrated. I hate how he drags things.

"They're going to rescue Peeta and the other Victors."

I looked up at Haymitch in shock. Trying to form words.

"What?" Was the best I could come up with.

"Since the hydroelectric dam is destroyed, the power in the Capitol in down. Which means their system defense is also down. A window is open to us, for how long, we don't know, but a plan is in motion, and.. They are going to rescue Peeta."

My body was over flooded with joy at the moment. Peeta's going to be okay. Johanna's going to be okay. Finnick will have Annie back. Everything at that moment, seemed brighter. I attacked Haymitch in a bear hug as I laughed.

"Did I miss something." I deep voice said behind us. I turned around to see Gale leaning on the wall, with a smile on his face.

"So how's my mom?"

"She's going to live. She will have to be in bed for a long time, but her legs are luckily going to be saved. She won't have to get her legs amputated."

I ran up to Gale and kissed him. I was too happy to even think about what I was doing, and I didn't care.

When I parted my lips from his, I ran into the medical room and saw a sleeping Flex sitting on the bed next to mom, who was also sleeping. She had I.V's in her arm and were hooked onto a monitor. But she looked better than when I saw her outside.

I didn't want to wake them up, so I decided to come back later when she was awake. I asked a nurse if it was safe for me to go to my actual room, and she said yes.

I went to my room and flopped onto my bed. I held the old picture of me and Peeta in my hands.

"You're going to be okay." I said as I traced my fingers over the picture of Peeta all muddy. His smile bright.

I held the picture to my chest, telling myself over and over that everything will be okay. I heard knocking at my door and I already knew who it could be.

"Come in!" The door opened to reveal Gale. He sat down next to me on the bed.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm feeling much better. Thank you.. For being there for me."

"Of course. I will always be there for you Journey, you know that."

"Yeah I do know that… Gale?"

"Hm?"

"Do you remember.. the first time you came to my room?"

"Of course. That was when we almost…Look Journey, you were right we weren't ready at that time and-"

"I'm ready now." Gale looked at me, eyes squinted and brows forward in confusion.

"What?" Oh great. I'm starting blush.

"I'm ready... to take that step with you. I love you Gale, you're the only person that ever made me feel…"

"Like I'm being lifted off the ground every time I hear your voice. Like my stomach has millions of little butterflies that do back flips in my stomach everytime we touch. The feeling of electricity sending shock waves through my body every time our lips meet."

I looked at him with adoration. It was like he took the words right out of me.

"How did you know that?"

"Because that's how I feel whenever I'm with you." His blue eyes met my brown ones. And everything in me, told me I was ready. I leaned into him, and my lips met his. That electric feeling that we both felt, I welcomed it. My body needed more. Like my body was craving for his touch. I climbed onto his lap and our kisses deepened. I felt his warm hands trace my waist and went upwards to my front zipper of my jumpsuit.

He than slowly unzipped my jumpsuit until it revealed my black tank top and revealed a small piece of my white underwear. He then pulled the sleeves of the jumpsuit down and I had to take them off of my arms. The jumper was now only covering my legs that still straddled Gale.

I then found Gale's zipper and unzipped his, doing the same. I came to realize how big his muscles really were. He wasn't wearing an undershirt, so his upper body was in full view. My hands wandered to his chest wanting to feel him. And I realized that I liked that feeling.

"Having fun?" I heard him grumble. I only smirked.

"Shut up." Before he could give a comeback, I attacked his lips.

His ruff, warm hands found his way at the hem of my tank top and he pulled his head away to look at me. I knew was asking for permission, and I complied with a nod.

He then did the unexpected. He grabbed the hem of my shirt with both hands and then ripped it up the middle. I gave out a little gasp as I was shocked yet… aroused by his sudden aggressiveness. I saw his eyes wander to my chest where my breasts were covered by a white bra. My cheeks turned bright red as I started to feel self conscious. I brought my arms up to cover myself, but his hands stopped me midway.

"Don't. You're perfect. I don't ever want you to hide your perfection from me. Ever." He lowered his head to my neck and started leaving little trails of kisses on my skin. The air made the kissing marks cool and goosebumps appeared on my skin. I gasped, loving warm and cool sensations.

He then lifted me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He stood up and placed me ever so gently onto the bed. His warm body, was now on top of me. I could feel his chest lay against mine and I could feel his heart beating in his chest. My heart beat… matched his.

He leaned up and grabbed the hem of my underwear and the waistline of my jumpsuit. His blue eyes looked to me.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Yes. I want you. I need you." I whimpered.

This night, was the night I would never forget. The turning point for the both of us. On this night, I gave up the one little piece of innocence I had left to the man I loved and trusted.

Gale.

Sleep came quickly for the both of us. I was rested in his arms feeling his bare chest rise and fall. Listening to his even warm breath on my neck. It was a night of blissful sleep.

It was blissful, until I woke up to a cold and empty bed.

I shot up in bed, looking around the room frantic holding my blanket to my bare chest. Wondering where Gale had went, to find a note on a piece of paper on his now empty side of the bed. I grabbed it and read it.

 _Journey,_

 _Tonight will forever be the best night I will ever remember. It took everything in me just to untangle myself from you. I want you to know that I volunteered to be apart of Peeta's rescue squad tonight and I promise to bring him back to you. What ever happen tonight, I want you to know that I meant everything I said that day back at the Victor's Village._

 _Even in death, I will never forget you Journey Lavender, and you have made me the most happiest man in this hell hole and I love you for that._

 _Forever yours,_

 _Gale._

I sprang up out of bed so quick that I thought I moved the bed. I grabbed my undershirt and jumpsuit and quickly put them on as I tried to not pay any attention at the sore feeling in my lower body. When I put my shoes on, I ran out of my room down the halls looking for the control room.

When I found it, I burst inside and found everyone glued to the screen. On the screen, I saw Finnick, all dressed up, and was talking.

I looked to Haymitch.

"Why the hell is Finnick doing a propo?"

"Well It's actually a lot more than a propo Journey. Finnick knows secrets about Snow and we thought it might be smart for him to give those secrets out to the people."

"Also, it's interfering with the Capitol's electrical system. So, it's making things easier for our men to go in, without getting blown to smithereens." Beetee said.

I looked to Coin, who's face was glued to another screen. It washer and beetee that were looking at a screen that showed District 13 soldiers such as Boggs and Gale!

I ran up to the screen, keeping my eyes on Gale. I could tell that by his body movements, he was nervous.

"Oh Gale.."

"He's going to be okay Journey." Katniss said coming to stand next to me. She grasped my hand in hers to calm me down.

I could then hear the orders being given on the radio.

"Mockingjay one. Mockingjay one. You are one minute away from perimeter defense, do you copy?"

"Copy that. Going dark."

The lights were then dimmed and I just kept looking up at the screen. Even though I was paying attention to Gale, I was also listening to Finnick speak.

"President Snow use to sell me… for my body at least. But, I wasn't the only one. If a Victor is considered desirable, the President gives them as a reward. If you refuse, he would kill someone you love. "

"Ten seconds till approach." I heard on the radio. My full attention was back onto Gale.

"9….8...7...6….5…"

I was clutching Katniss's hand so hard, I was scared I was going to break it. But, Katniss had a hard grip on my hand as well. Everyone in the room held their breath.

"3...2...1…"

I closed my eyes. Please.. Please make it…

"No response from Capitol air of Defense. We're inside Capitol air space."

I breathed out a sigh of relief and a smile crept on my face. Okay.. he made it in safely. But I knew that there was still challenges at hand.

"The payment for us would be some sort of jewelry or money. But I found a much more... satisfying way of payment. Secrets." So that's what he meant back at the tribute center. I always thought he was paid with money, but when he said he hasn't dealt with a thing as common as money… now I knew what he meant.

I than saw Gale and the other mean stand up, and it looked to me that they were preparing themselves to break into the tribute center. I was now on edge again.

"We have visual of the Tribute Center. Initiating final approach…" Came from the radio. My heart felt like it was about to pump out of my chest. I saw the men put their gas masks on.

"The biggest secrets I've ever had paid to me, were ones of President Snow. He kept his power strong on Panem. How? One word… Poison."

What?

The footage was now showing Boggs leading the men into the Tribute Center. It was strange seeing it so dark and empty.

"Okay, it's clear. Head towards flight level 2." I heard Boggs's voice say. They started to run up a flight of stairs.

"Snow would poison anyone who, to him, seemed a threat. Even his own allies. He would drink from the same cup to prevent suspicion. But.. antidotes don't always work. Which is why he wears roses that reek of perfume. To hide the smell of blood from the sores in his mouth that will never heal because of that poison."

What he said made me realize all those times I had face to face interactions with Snow. I would always smell a small hint of perfume that radiated off of him, but I never questioned it. I never even knew that the smell was coming from the roses.

The screen was now showing the men were now in front of a door. Could that be the door….?

Katniss and I both walked up closer to the screen. Wanting to see clearer. Gale stood frozen for a second and I started to get worried. What was wrong with him?

"Gale." Boggs said. Gale gave a nod and then him and another man opened the doors to reveal a room. It was the room where they would clean us. But now.. Now it looked like a surgical room. I saw a whole bunch of sharp tools laid around, and my throat became dry.

Is this what they used on them? Oh my god….

I was blocking out the rest of Finnick's voice as I was just staying focused on Gale. All of a sudden, the screen became bright and I could hear Gale grunt.

"Gale!"

"Beetee…" Katniss said in unison.

"There power is coming back up." Beetee said.

"The Capitol air defense is coming back online."

"Ah crap. Another 60 seconds and then we'll be cut off. They must be getting there power source from a someplace else."

"We need to get them out of there now." Coin said.

An idea came into mind. A stupid one, but I had to try.

"Broadcast me!" I said. Everyone looked to me.

"The Capitol will receive this footage, so put me on. Maybe.. Maybe I can distract him.. Put me on the air so he can see me."

"Oaky.." Coin said. Plutarch moved to a camera and focused it on me. Katniss let go of my hand and moved out of the way so the camera could focus on me only.

"Journey you can do this." Haymitch said behind me.

"Okay Journey, you're on." Beetee said.

"Snow… President Snow are you there? President Snow! Are you there!? President Snow it's Journey Lavender. President Snow are you there? President Snow!..." I waited for a response but nothing came.

"There's no guarantee that he's watching." Coin said.

"I have to try… President Snow it's Journey and I need to speak with you! President Snow are you there? President Snow? Pre-" Something happened. A voice. I heard a voice.

"Mr. Lavender. What a pleasant surprise my dear." The screen now showed a fuzzy image of Snow and my spin ran cold.

"I'm sure you're not reaching out to me to thank me for those roses." He said with a smile.

"I.. I never asked for this President Snow. You must know that. I never asked to be back into the games, that wasn't my fault. I never asked for all of this to happen. I just wanted save the people I love. Please just let Peeta and the others go and I will evoke to being the mockingjay."

"Now , you couldn't run from this just as much as you couldn't have run from the games."

"Please Snow… you've won. You broke me. Isn't that what you've wanted? I've kept my promises haven't I? At least give me that."

"You said you didn't want to have a war. But look at where we are standing at this very moment. I warned how fragile peace was Ms. Lavender. And still, like a child, as you are. Had pleasure in breaking it. I know you Ms. Lavender. I don't think you know what honesty is anymore."

"B-but I convinced everyone of my love for Gale. That was at least one thing I've done as you asked. Would you at least give me that?"

He shook his head, still having that creepy smile on his face."

"Ms. Lavender.. it's those we love most that destroy us. I want you to remember who taught you this."

"W-what?"

"Do you really think I don't know Gale and the others are in Tribute Center?"

"W-what? NO! NO! PRESIDENT SNOW!-"

The footage cut off.

Oh my God. Gale!

"Haymitch… what...He knows. He knows that they're in there! He was taunting me! We have to get them out we-we.."

"There's no signal, we can't contact them."

"NO! BEETEE! YOU HAVE TO FIND A WAY IN!"

"I'm sorry Journey…"

"NO! I can't lose them.. I can't lose them both."

"Shhh no Journey, we don't know that! We don't know if we have yet. Shh.." Haymitch tried calming me down, by wrapping his arms around me, but it wasn't working. I needed Gale.

"NO! Haymitch I can't.. I can't lose them both. I can't lose them.. I can't… No!" I was sobbing in hysterics. I didn't care who was watching. I can't lose them both… if I lose them...

I must've blacked out, because before I knew it, I was on my bed, crying. My eyes burned and felt dry from the amount of crying I been doing, but I didn't care. I grasped the letter in my hands and balled my hand into a fist. My body numb. Katniss and Prim were sitting at my bedside. Prim was running her hands through my hair. Katniss's head laid on my leg, her cheeks stained with tears as well.

Prim was humming her favorite lullaby. Deep in the meadow. I tried humming it with her, but I couldn't. My throat too dry.

"You need to drink something." Prim said softly. "I'll go get you some water." She left the room, and the person to come into the room was Finnick. He looked worried.

"Hey.."

"H-Hi…" I tried to say. My voice scratchy.

He then took Prim's place on the bed, I could see Katniss scrunch her nose in protest. She never really liked him much.

"There's been no word.. Yet." Was all he said, before he took a piece of rope from his pocket and started to tie a knot.

Prim came back in and handed me a glass of water. I gulped it down. And my throat started to feel much better.

"Thank you." I whispered.

I laid my head back down onto the pillow.

All of a sudden, the doors opened back up and Haymitch comes rushing in.

"They're back!" He says. Katniss, Finnick and I all jump off of the bed and started running towards the medical center.

"How are they!?" I asked Haymitch.

"Fine. They're all fine."

I started pushing past the nurses and doctors. I saw some nurses by a hospital bed and I ran over to see who it was.

"Would you stop it! I don't want that!" I heard the person say. I knew that voice anywhere.

"Johanna?" I asked. Her appearance was completely different. She was thinner, paler, and her head was shaved.

"Why so surprised?" She said sarcastically.

"Finnick!" I heard a girl's voice yell. I turn around to see a flash of red hair run to Finnick.

"ANNIE!" Finnick screamed. He scooped her up into his arms, a huge smile plastered on his face. I can be happy for them later, but I have to find…

"Journey!" I deep voice yelled out. My body ran on impulse. Following that voice. I then saw Gale standing, wearing his black sniper uniform.

I ran up to him, a mix of emotions swam inside me. The first one that came out was anger and as I ran to him, he thought I was about to hug him, but instead I brought my hand up and my hand made contact with his cheek.

He didn't even look shocked.

"You asshole! How dare you leave me like that!.. Don't ever do that to me again."

I said as I hugged him. His arms wrapped around me in a tight grip, like I would disappear if he had let go. His warm body was so welcoming, his oaky scent hit me and my heart rate calmed down. He then let go of me and I looked up at him.

Boggs walked up to us, a small smile appeared on his face.

"You have one brave man there Journey. Everything went successful because of Gale's last minute actions to rescuing the Victors."

"But I don't understand it. Every gun was back online and on us, and we flew right past them. They let us go.." That was weird. Very weird, but I couldn't think about that right now. I turned my head around to look and see if Peeta was around. But i couldn't see him and I was getting worried.

"He's in there." Gale said as he pointed to one of the rooms, a smirk on his face. I gave him a quick 'thank you' kiss. I turned to Boggs and also gave my thanks and ran inside to see something that stopped me.

Katniss was standing next to a skeleton of a man. Smiling and talking. I would never have recognized him to be my best friend if it weren't for the messy blond hair giving him away. I walked in slowly, not wanting to disturb them. My heart was beating ten times fast in my chest.

"Peeta?"

Katniss looked at me and smiled.

"He's okay…" She whispered. I smiled back. I walked in front of him, seeing his face. He looked terrible. I could easily see his neck bones, collar bones, cheek bones. He had purple bruises everywhere skin was revealed. His eyes stared dead at me. I couldn't take it anymore, so I just hugged him. I tried to be as gentle as possible, not wanting to hurt him. I was too wrapped up in the little happy moment, that I didn't realize until now that he wasn't hugging me back.

I let go of him to look at him.

"Journey…" He said. His voice so low I could barely hear it.

Something snapped in him. Within a second he punched me in the face and grabbed me by my throat and squeezed tightly. He pushed me against the glass wall and it shattered. I piece of if broke into my back. He then managed to push me down to the ground. I was in a state of shock that I didn't know what to do.

Haymitch and Katniss came up behind him and tried to pull him off.

"Peeta no!" I could hear Katniss scream.

"Peeta! Peeta get off! Get off of her!" He managed to pull him up, but Peeta still had me in a death grip. I was granted one second of air, to inhale as he let one hand go to push them off of him. But his other hand quickly as it left, came back to my throat. He then body slammed me back onto the ground. I could feel the glass go deeper into my back.

I tried slapping his hands away, but they stayed on. I looked in his eyes, and all I saw was pure hatred and fear. I tried gasping for air, but it was impossible. I felt my face heat up and the pressure on my head increase.

Peeta stop…

Everything started to get blurry and the noises started to get fainter and fainter.

Then, I saw a chair rise and slam on Peeta's head. Everything, went black after that...

 **AN: Yeah I hope you guys like this chapter. And I'm sure you'll love the next one. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep.

The noise just kept going over and over again.

Peeta was rescued… Peeta tried to hurt me. Tried to kill me.

PEETA!

My eyes opened and I started to panic, my neck seemed stiff, it couldn't move. My throat hurt really bad too. I started to breath heavy trying to get as much air in my lungs as I could.

GET THIS DAMNED THING OFF OF ME!

I tried clawing at whatever was around my neck. Trying to get it off.

All of a sudden Gale was at my bed side, putting my hands down.

"Shhh… Journey stop. Don't touch it. Shh.. you're okay. You're okay." He said gently. His eyes never leaving mine. Boggs then appeared on the other side of my bed.

"You're throat's swollen. You just have to calm down. Okay?"

"P-P.." I tried to speak, to say something, but nothing came out. Nothing at all.

"Don't try to talk. You might damage your throat even more. Peeta's okay I promise. I just needed to get him off."

My body calmed down at his words.

"Plutarch and Haymitch will be coming in soon. They will give you the details of what's going on." I couldn't say okay, and because of this thing around my neck, I couldn't nod my head. Great.

Within a few minutes, Plutarch, Haymitch, and everyone else walked into the room. Their faces were unreadable. They turned the lights on and Gale helped me sit up.

Plutarch sat in front of me. Haymitch, sat next to me, next to Gale. Everyone else stood in a corner. When Plutarch looked at me, my eyes demanded him to speak. To explain.

"You must be wondering why Peeta tried to kill you." He started.

"Yeah no shit, so do we." Gale said.

"It's called a hijacking Journey. We don't know for sure how long the Capitol has been doing this to Peeta. But from the looks of things, it's probably for been awhile."

What the hell is a hijacking? I looked to Beetee with forward eyebrows.

"It's.. brainwashing Journey. A serum infused with tracker jacker venom. You should remember that, as you were stung your first game." I blinked. Remembering the first games when that happened. I couldn't tell what was real, and what was not real.

"The venom puts the victim in a delusional state. They.. tortured him with shocks and beatings.. And.." Stop. I didn't want to hear this. Not now.

"I think she gets the point." Haymitch noticing my discomfort.

"Well they stripped down his identity and put all of that suffering and fear, and warped it. Redirecting them to certain memories of certain people." Me. Meaning me.

"They can change his memories of Journey?" Prim said, speaking up.

"And make her seem deadly. Life threatening." Deadly?

"They turned him into a weapon. To kill you Journey." Haymitch said.

"But that's not all." Plutarch started. "Peeta was under another serum. We can't identify it, It's something I've never even seen in the Capitol before."

"What did it do?" Finnick asked.

"It made him… more lethal."

I was trying to wrap my head around this information. Snow.. brainwashed Peeta. My best friend, my brother, and turned him against me. Made him despise me, made him want to kill me. That evil, sick, son of a bitch..

"But you can reverse it right? Put his memories back?" Katniss asked.

"Well fear is very hard to overcome. We don't know how much of Peeta's memories have been warped. I mean, we don't know what this boy thinks is real, or what is unreal about his life." Beetee said.

"But we will try our best Journey. We will get a team together and we will try to put back any memory he has." Plutarch said, trying to lighten the mood.

The doors opened to reveal Mrs. Everdeen.

"Okay everyone, Journey needs her rest. You all can visit her in a couple of hours." She said sternly. Everyone took their leave, except for Gale.

"Gale.. you too." He seemed persistent to stay, so I gave him a thumbs up to show that I was okay. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and left.

When everyone was gone, and the lights were dimmed down, I sat up in bed. My body ached but I didn't care.

I had to see him. I needed to see him. I got up off the bed, and started walking down the halls. I came across a dark room, the door half way open. I slowly creeped my way inside and I saw a window.

The window showed a bright room, and in it, laid Peeta strapped into the bed. He was screaming and writhing, trying to break free. The person I saw before me was not the same person who would make mudpies with me in the dirt. The person who snuck my family food from the bakery. The person who would paint me pictures and tell jokes to lighten me up. That person was gone. And the person here now, was a shell of Peeta. Empty. Nothing left, but fear and hate.

This moment right here, this was the moment I could actually feel my heart breaking. He was was right.

' _It's the ones we love most… that destroy us.'_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

At the Capitol, President Snow was sitting at his desk. A bloody handkerchief in hand. His head down on the desk, he was in deep sleep.

Egeria came rushing in. Worry plastered on her face. She went over to his desk and shook him lightly.

"Mr. Presiden. Please wake up." She said in a haste voice.

Snow woke up then, tiredness plastered in his eyes. His eyes wandered around the room until they landed on Egeria.

"Are you okay Mr. President?"

He groaned as he sat upright in his chair. His voice rough.

"Now I'm sure you have a better reason for waking an old man up besides being worried for his health Egeria."

"S-sir… They've got the files."

"Who?"

"District 13."

Snow's eyes went from tired, to furious. He rose up slowly, Egeria shaking in fright.

"I specifically told you to keep an eye on those files did I not. Do you know what you have just cost me!? You have risked everything!"

"Forgive me sir-"

"GARDS! Take Egeria away. Get her out of my sight."

"Wait no! No please sir! It was an accident! Please!"

"An accident we cannot afford to have. I'm sorry, but you are of no use to me anymore."

The guards dragged her out of the room kicking and screaming. Snow paid no mind to her, as his coughing increased.

He then turned his projector on, and the person he needed to talk to flashed onto the screen. Her blond hair was back in a tight bun. She was wearing a bright blue suit.

"Good evening Jeanine." He grumbled.

"Good evening Coriolanus. How are your… rebels holding up?"

"They are... taxing. And of your Divergents?"

"I will have it under control shortly."

"Jeanine we have a problem. My files have been stolen by District 13. I have a feeling you will be getting visitors in your city soon."

She smirked, no worry plastered on her calm face.

"Let them come. I have a feeling they might be of importance to me."

"As you wish Jeanine. Don't worry, the word won't get out when I'm through with them."

"Same here. Have a nice day Coriolanus."

"Have a nice day Jeanine."

The screen went black. A smile crept onto Snow's face. He knew once District 13 sees the footage and reads what's in that file, the game will change. It will get harder, especially for Ms. Lavender.

Now was the time to up the stakes. And President Snow was ready play.

 **AN; Yes.. Yes.. I just went there. I hope all of you Divergent fans stay tuned for book 4! Cause it's going to get wild. :)**


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